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Friday, March 03, 2006

j'accuse: profiles in parenting redux!

hot on the heels of our inaugural edition, i bring you yet another installment of ... PROFILES IN PARENTING!!!

meet Christophe Fauviau -- that's him to the right, there, being escorted from a french courthouse by big french cops. you may ask yourself: what was Fauauvieau's crime? why it was just a smidge of overzealous parenting.

it seems our hero got into a little trouble for "drugging" and "inadvertently causing the death" of one of his son's tennis rivals. read about it

key quote from the accused himself: "Putting tablets into someone's bottles, I can't explain it. Every match which my children took part in meant terrible anguish." ah, yes, the anguish -- or should i say l'angoisse? -- of parenting. who but the french truly understand the angoisse (and, dare i add, the ennui?) of an offspring's weak backhand? obviously the only solution is to spread the angoisse around a little, to bring the pain directly into the opponents' GI tracts. advantage, Fauviau!

now, the astute among you will recall that
our first installment of PROFILES IN PARENTING was also about a bonkers loonjob of a tennis dad -- Damir Dokic, he who threatened to kidnap his own daughter and nuke australia (so, so awesome). what is it about the fathers of tennis players? can anyone answer this for me? obviously, there must be something in the water. at least now we know who put it there.


Blogger chelsyliz said...

man, if i had a nickle for every time i inadvertantly caused some child's death trying to better my son's karate tournaments i would be a very rich there something wrong with leveling the playing feild geez. lower the bar, raise the average!

happy friday mng.

3/03/2006 9:50 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

maybe parents should just stay away from tennis?

3/03/2006 12:00 PM  
Blogger S.I.R said...

Well if his son wasn't so selfish and actually won more games (without the doping)(of his opponents)(himself if desired though) there would be no problem!

3/03/2006 3:03 PM  
Blogger Catharine said...

Is it tennis? Is the European Union? Is it fatherhood?

What? What could be driving these men to these extremes?

And, frankly, I'm not sure the French guy should be tossed into the same catagory as the Serb, if for no other reason than the French guy hasn't threatened to nuke an entire continent, and has, heretofore, expressed little interest in any fish, let alone salmon.

Just sayin'....


3/03/2006 3:39 PM  
Anonymous Mr. Lice Guy said...

I can't believe anyone would resort to drugging their kid's opponent! When I was growing up I was taught to conduct myself as a gentleman on the playing field. Which is why I chew Redman Tobacco. Redman Tobacco, the flavor of America.

3/04/2006 4:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

dude, you need to update your blog! I'm suffering withdrawal!! :)

3/07/2006 11:43 AM  
Anonymous kirala said...

helllooooo? did you get a new knee?

3/09/2006 8:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Where the hell are you?

3/09/2006 9:09 AM  
Anonymous Mr. Lice Guy said...

Maybe his faulty miniscus exploded, taking out him and an unspecified number of park slope yuppies who were also enjoying a mint-chocolate-frappa-moca-dingleberry-chino down at Slick Willie's Pseudo-Retro Neuvo-Dorko mint-chocolate-frappa-moca-dingleberry-chino cafe and Microbiotic Bookshop.

3/09/2006 11:00 AM  

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