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Saturday, May 20, 2006

do not read this post if you would prefer not to have your entire day ruined

i should apologize for what i am about to do to you. but i refuse. i am a broken man and, like all broken men, i need the company. this is all about dragging you down along with me on my painful fall from grace.

it all started about 24 hours ago. i clicked on a link and by the time i had read to the end of the page, i knew my life was ruined. my brain is now an addled shell, incapable of doing anything other than play this game. it might seem innocent enough at first, but come reader, take my hand as i guide you down the path of your destruction.

the little puzzle we are about to play comes from the always excellent coudal partners, (an innovative and fun design/advertising firm that happens to maintain a great blog). the premise is simple. in their own words:

The idea is to mash up the name of a book with the name of a band. Here's a few of our examples to get you started:

The Things They Might Be Giants Carried
The Who Moved My Cheese
The Old Man and The Sea and Cake
Charlie Daniels and the Chocolate Factory
Catch 182
Horton Hears a Hoobastank

and so on.

i've tried to focus on other things. i have tried to concentrate at work, to pay attention to my family. but it's a wash. i must ... come ... up with ... more mashups. agh! fuck! here's but a wee smattering of some of the examples i've come up with in the past day. i'm rather proud of some of these:

Stevie Wonder Boys
Sly and the Sorcerer's Stone
A Million Little Richards
The Lion in Johnny Winter
The Man Who Would be King Curtis
Days of Iron and Wine and Roses
Neutral Milk Hotel New Hampshire

Napalm Death in Venice
He's Just Not That Into U2
A Tree Grows in Brook Benton
The Year of Magical Thinking Fellers Union Local #282
The Divinyls' Secrets of the Pointer Sisterhood
Of Human League Bondage
'Til Tuesday with Maury
Chicken Soup De La Soul
The Art of White Noise
Tom Jones
Modest Maus
The Red and the Black Crowes
The Ice-T Storm
Kavalier and Otis Clay
Twisted Sister Carie
Guns, The Germs and Steel
Are Men Without Hats Necessary?
Das Bootsy Collins

i know, i know. i am painfully witty. thank you. do me a favor -- spare me the paeans and start coming up with your own examples. post them in the comments. this way i will know that i am not alone in having my life destroyed.

help me.

UPDATE: downward spiral continues. can't sleep. haven't eaten in two days. what do i have to show? nothing. just this:

Don Quihenley
The Virgin Suicidal Tendencies
If On A Winter's Night a Blues Traveler
Fear of Flying Burrito Brothers
The Bravery New World
The Blind Willie McTell Assassin
Les Paul Miserables
The Joy of X
Journey to the End of the Night


Anonymous Anonymous said...

well, it's not like you didn't warn me. fuck.

their eyes were watching godsmack?
indigo girls with a pearl earring?
coldplay mountain?
in coldplay blood?
because of winn-dixie chicks?
norah jones' diary?
huey lewis & the shipping news?
of mice and men at work?
k.c. & the sunshine also rises?

you suck.

5/20/2006 2:22 PM  
Blogger Lesley said...

The Colour Deep Purple
Betty Blue Oyster Cult
Jango Edward Scissor Hands
All the President's Men At Work
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Rolling Stones
The Lion King Crimson
Spider Manfred Man
Dances With Steppen Wolves


5/20/2006 2:53 PM  
Anonymous JGS said...

A Flock of Jonathan Livingston Seagulls
Green Day's Eggs and Ham
Chasing Destiny's Child
DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince and The Pauper
The Doobie Brothers Karamazov
Blood and Guns n' Roses

Kill me now.

5/20/2006 3:23 PM  
Blogger mr. nice guy said...

The Doobie Brothers Karamazov! i love it!

5/20/2006 3:25 PM  
Blogger zygote daddy said...

Tom Waiting for Godot
The Spy Who Came in from the Coldplay
The Whitesnake Album
The Poison Bible
The Virgin Suicidal Tendencies
Macy Gray's Anatomy

OK, I'd better stop with that one.

5/20/2006 7:27 PM  
Blogger zygote daddy said...

Oh yeah, also these (Damn you, mr. nice guy!):

Welcome to the Monkeys' House
This Beach Boy's Life
What Living Colour is Your Parachute?
Cat Stevens' Cradle
Kool and the Monkey Wrench Gang

5/20/2006 8:29 PM  
Anonymous lars said...

Great White Teeth
Crome Yellow Magic Orchestra
The Five Village People You Meet in Heaven
The King Diamond Age
Player Piano Overlord
G?del, Escher, Bachman-Turner Overdrive
Me Talk Pretty KRS-One Day
Siouxsie and the Banshees Come Undone

5/20/2006 9:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh no! I see you too fell victim to this sly little addictive worm of a game. What I came up with:

About a Badly Drawn Boy
How to be Good Charlotte (Nick Hornby apparently lends himself well to this.)
Jimmy Eat Brave New World
Heart of the Darkness
The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay Aiken

5/20/2006 9:42 PM  
Blogger Chickenbells said...

Gone With the Earth Wind and Fire
One Phish Two Phish Red Phish Blue Phish
The Wizard of Ozzy
Gorillaz In the Mist
The Dooby Brothers Grim

Oh dear...this is too much!! I'm sure I'll be dreaming up things in my sleep...

5/21/2006 1:23 AM  
Blogger Kara said...

A Pox on both your houses of the holy!!!
I didn't go to the site- so these may already be up there (the first of many...)
*Dream Academy of my Russian Summers
*Morris Day and the Time Traveller's Wife
*Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince and the New Power Generation
*The Giving Screaming Trees
*The Joy of Sex Pistols
*Frog and Toad the Wet Sprocket are Friends

5/21/2006 9:31 AM  
Blogger Natalie said...

It seems I have incredible powers of resistance.

5/21/2006 10:08 AM  
Anonymous laurie said...

Modest Mouse Tales
Modest Mouse Soup
Their Black Eyed Peas Were Watching God
This Beastie Boys Life
One Hundred Year Storm of Solitude
Dead Souls Can Dance
Zen Frisbee and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance
Gwar and Peace
The Godsmack of Small Things
The Fountainheads of Wayne

and here i am, packing up our bookshelves today...

please. make it stop!

also, One Phish, Two Phish, Red Phish, Blue Phish is perfect. just perfect.

5/21/2006 2:34 PM  
Anonymous laurie said...

The Fall of the Crowded House of Usher
Around the World in Eighty Green Days
Animal Collective Farm
The Human League Comedy
The Catcher in the Ryan Adams
The Jungle Brothers Book
The Wide Sargasso Sea and Cake
A Green Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich
Me Talk Pretty One Green Day
Me Talk Talk Pretty
Death Cab of a (cute) Salesman?

you're no bonnehomme good sir. you're mechant. very very mechant.

5/21/2006 2:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The desire--nay, the aching need--to do this will eventually pass, right?

Round 2 from an anonymous loser:
In Cold Blood, Sweat and Tears.
Heh. The Cure-an.
Fight Culture Club.
Low Millions Little Pieces.
Waving Not Drowning Ruth.
Slaughterhouse Dave Clark Five.
Snow Patrol Falling on Cedars.
How to Win Friends and Influence Village People.
Midnight in the Soundgarden of Good and Evil.
Children of the Korn.
Do Androids Dream of Electric Light Orchestra.
Tender is the Three Dog Night.

5/21/2006 9:53 PM  
Anonymous friendbunny said...

sorry if i repeat any:
moby is a dick
pearls before swinesburg, ohio
winesburg, songs:ohia
jane austen's addiction
dorothy and the wizard of ozzie
the littlest/lost (artist formerly known as) prince
go ask alice in wonderland
harm of willa cather
decline and the fall
tesla of the d'ubervilles
house of the seven gabba gabba hey
chris robinson curuso
screw tape op letters
the communist meat beat manifesto
dr sear's baby got back book
the tao of physical graffiti
do the jitterbug perfume

5/21/2006 10:49 PM  
Anonymous samantha said...

i'd like to preface this by saying: i don't know if these are repeats from the original website, i didn't use google or anything (just my sad self), this took WAY too much time and effort, i am now addicted, and you're a NOTSOmr.niceguy for doing this to us!

the ramones quimby, age 8
good charlotte's web
dave matthew's band of brothers
bob marley and me
the babysitters culture club
a tale of u2 cities
horton hears the who
the green day mile
gone with the earth wind and fire
the hardy boys to men
charlie and the c + c music factory

sigh. oh, it won't stop here!

5/22/2006 12:20 AM  
Blogger escobar said...

David Lee Copperfield
Rip Van Halen
Oliver Twists Sister
Napalm Death of a Salesman
Men are form Le Mars Volta...
Loverboy in the Time of Cholera
The Go Gos Tell it on the Mountain
Carole King Crimson
Simon Garfunkandwagnells

5/22/2006 7:51 AM  
Anonymous friendbunny said...

the portable hitchhikers guide to the galaxie 500
people are stranger in a strange land
more than human league
why the caged charlie parker sings
a screaming tree grows in brooklyn
creature catcher in the rye
catcher in the rye coalition
are you my mother love bone?

5/22/2006 9:02 AM  
Anonymous friendbunny said...

last entry. these happened between my last entry and a shower:

rock around the clockwork orange
the clan of the cave minus the bear
save a little prayer for owen meanie
paintin the town dan brown
the joy of cex

wah ha haha...

5/22/2006 9:38 AM  
Blogger Kara said...

*Running with Scissor Sisters
*The Beach Boys
*New World Party Order
*To Killers a Mockingbird
*When Bad Things Happen to Good Village People
*L7 Habits of Highly Effective People
*The Hunt for Red October Project

And for the love of God, people it's BOOKS and BANDS, *BOOKS*. Thank you.

5/22/2006 11:29 AM  
Anonymous lod said...

I have nothing to add. Except maybe "REMpire Falls."

I will revisit this when I regain consciousness.

5/22/2006 1:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The South Beach Boys Diet
Curios George Thoroughgood and the Destroyers
My Friend Lynyrd Skynyrd
Oh, The Places You'll Go-Gos
The Little Artist formally known as Prince
Horton Hears the Guess Who
Earth, Wind and Fire in the Willows
Alice Cooper's Adventures in Wonderland
Anne of Green Day Gables
Black Sabbath Beauty
Bachelor Beastie Boys
Big Bad Steppenwolf
Hootie and the Blowfish Fly
The Camel Culture Club

5/22/2006 3:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Only have one that I think has not been used--

The GoGo's Dogs Go

Have greatly enjoyed yours and all the comments. You are all sick, sick people.

5/22/2006 3:29 PM  
Blogger mr. nice guy said...

ok, in no particular order, i freakin' love:

Huey Lewis & the Shipping News
Tom Waiting for Godot
Me Talk Pretty KRS-One Day
Gorillaz In the Mist
Heart of the Darkness
The Catcher in the Ryan Adams
Frog and Toad the Wet Sprocket are Friends
Tender is the Three Dog Night
David Lee Copperfield
everything kara submitted (The Beach Boys ... tres droll)
Gwar and Peace
Dead Souls Can Dance
Alice Cooper's Adventures in Wonderland
REMpire Falls

5/22/2006 10:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Cole Porter Goss

5/23/2006 4:31 PM  
Blogger Mrs. T said...

Noisy Norah Jones
THe Iron Handmaiden's Tale
Middlesex Pistols
Queen Latifah's and Wannabees
Midnight in the Soundgarden of Good and Evil
A Tree Grows in Garth Brooks-lyn

5/23/2006 6:41 PM  
Blogger Mrs. T said...

The Good Earth, Wind and Fire
The Vanilla Ice Man Cometh
The Little Artist Formerly Known as Prince
Uncle Tupelo's Cabin
Good Charlotte in Bed
The Joy Luck Culture Club
Harold and the Deep Purple Crayon

I can't stop!

5/23/2006 6:55 PM  
Blogger Trish said...

REO Speedwagon My Mother?
Anna & The Kinks of Siam
But Not the Tragically Hippopotamus
Pat the Bunny Benatar
What's Eating Gilbert Grapes of Wrath
Tom Sawyer & The Heartbreakers
The Legend of Sleepy Hollow & Oates

5/24/2006 1:50 AM  
Blogger Trish said...

Bon Jovi of the Vanities

5/24/2006 8:14 AM  
Blogger Mrs. T said...

Damn! I thought I was done!

Nancy Drew a Badly Drawn Boy
Megadeath of a Salesman
Lady Chatterly's Loverboy
Black and Blue Oyster Cult
One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue-Man Group Fish
The Cat and the Men Without Hats
KD Lang and the Big Snow
Modest Mouse and the Motorcycle
The Soundgarden and the Fury
The Grateful Dead Man Walking

5/24/2006 6:20 PM  
Blogger Trish said...

The Grapes of Ratt
The Cake Also Rises
White Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe

5/25/2006 8:19 AM  
Anonymous mcstayinskool said...

It may not have ruined my entire day, but certainly my morning...

I see I came up with several that others did, but here's my list

Chicken Soup for the Soul Coughing
The Once and Future Kings of Convenience
Everything But the Girl with the Pearl Earring
About a Badly Drawn Boy
The High Lo Fidelity Allstars
The Vanilla Ice Storm
Cry the Beloved Big Country
Chickasaw Mud Touch-and-Feel Puppies
The Spy Who Came in from the Coldplay
Microsoft Windows for Crash Test Dummies (better, yes?)
or even better...
Fleetwood Mac for Crash Test Dummies (DOUBLE TRUE!)
Death Cab For Cutie of a Salesman
Gorillaz in the Mist
All's Quiet on the Kanye Western Front 242 (DOUBLE TRUE!)
Portrait of a Ladytron
Women are from Venus, Men at Work are from Wynton Marsalis (DOUBLE TRUE!)
Encyclopedia Brown and the Neko Case of the Disgusting Sneakers
Are you there, God Lives Underwater? It's me, Margaret
Midnight Oil in the Soundgarden of Good and Evil (DOUBLE TRUE!)

5/25/2006 11:23 AM  
Anonymous Lisa said...

And You Will Know Us By The Trail of The Dead Man Walking

The The Agony and the Ecstasy

Godspeed You Black Like Me Emperor!

5/25/2006 4:54 PM  
Blogger Trish said...

Alanis Doesn't Live Here Any Morissette

5/26/2006 1:23 AM  
Blogger llegue said...

Do songs/movies count?

Return of the one of those Jedi mind tricks

Divine Comedy of the YaYa Sisterhood

Echo and the little bunny foo foo men

Little Bunny Foo Foo Fighters

Leven Thumps and the Gateway to Foo Fighters

5/31/2006 5:32 PM  
Blogger Wollaston said...

Dark Night Ranger of the Soul
Joy Division Street
The Pet Shop Hardy Boys
Barry Manilow My Heart at Wounded Knee
Kirsty McColl of the Wild
Vanity Liz Phair
Bette Midlersex
The Go-Go’s Down Moses
Even Cowgirls Get the Blues Traveler
Sarah, Jefferson Airplane and Tall
As I Spandau Ballet Dying
The Violent Femmes Bear It Away
Rabbit Run DMC
The Unbearable GordonLightfootness of Being
Profiles in Courage Against the Machine
Jane Eyre’s Addiction
Laura Brannigan’s Wake
The Power and the Gloria Estafan
The Autobiography of Malcolm XTC
20,000 Human Leagues Under the Sea
The Crowded House of Mirth

Yes, my life is over now. It's even too late to win a Spandau Ballet CD. Tomorrow I quit my job and go back to blogging.

6/02/2006 2:52 AM  
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