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Sunday, August 07, 2005

update from the bk




here's an awesome email i received from mrs nice guy during my last day at work yesterday. it should be noted here that my child, having realized that we decided to keep her because she had been so good lately, officially changed policy. for the past week she has refused to chill out, nap, sleep and generally not be from hell.

to our horror we calculated that on thursday the baby took one half hour nap, one 45 minute nap and one 20 minute nap. "hey, i thought you said she wasn't sleeping," you might be inclined to say. ah, yes. but we recently read that babies this age should be sleeping TWELVE HOURS a day. by my tally, one hour and 35 minutes falls just a smidge short of that.

but then! i get this note, just yesterday:

-----Original Message-----
From: nice guy, mrs.
Sent: Saturday, August 05, 2005 11:02 AM
To: nice guy, mr.
Subject: the spell
just might be broken

update from the bk.
9:30: done feeding. curls up on my chest her little fingers patting my arm -- heart swells with love.
9:40: falls asleep in a tiny ball on my chest. how could i ever be angry with this sweet, sweet girl
9:50: i get up from the rocking chair. moving slower than anyone has ever moved before so as not to disturb said girl.
9:55 make way to crib. put her down, nestled up against the side of her crib. she grunts -- i freeze. she begins to flail -- i begin to whimper.
9:56 she gets comfortable, smacks her lips a few times and closes her gorgeous little eyes. i will keep her, i think.
9:58 stroll out to the living room. pour self a glass of juice -- wonder how i will spend the next hour of delicious freedom.
10:05 what was that sound? every muscle of my body tenses. did i hear something? i scoot back from the table, tiptoe down the hall to see her little body thrashing around while she works up to a bloodcurdling yell (she is also farting up a storm). FUCK.
FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK.
10:06 Find the pacifier, stick it in her mouth. PRAY like a motherfucker.
10:07 ASLEEP. OUTLIKEALIGHT.

and a chorus of angels sang halleluia.

she's still asleep.

Baby: 5 Mama: 3 (but i'm catching up).

6 Comments:

Anonymous amy said...

Any time we travel with our son - it totally throws him off. He is out of sorts for days after we get back. We just drove back from NY to MA and he screamed the entire drive. Maybe they just get overstimulated and have to work it out. I hope this is the case for you guys. Hope things are better soon!

8/07/2005 10:27 AM  
Blogger birthfree said...

Most definetly a schedule thing (not the same people, not the same bed, not the same time for naps, etc.), and then you get the brunt of it - not easy at all.

You and your wife are well matched, her e-mail was hillarious... and oh do I remember that (though in my case they never took pacifiers so I was just screwed if they woke up). Might I add you may want to look into an Amby baby hammock as it takes the "get them to sleep and pray/sell off your nextborn hoping they don't wake when you lay them down" out. It bounces up and down and curls around them some so when they are asleep after the bouncing or slight swinging... they stay in there (doing motion) as you gloriously walk out. Can't say enough about them (as they are also small enough to pack up and travel in the car where you go = so same bed for baby when everything else is gone to heck). It's our most prized baby item (along with my swing, cloth diapers and sling).

8/07/2005 11:37 AM  
Anonymous marian said...

i used to crawl out of the room on my hands and knees so as to spread the weight out and make it so the floorboards wouldn't creak. also it seemed that atmospheric disturbances at the height of the crib would wake him up. god. we used to eat supper with plastic forks because the clink of metal on china would wake him up. toilet flushes, too. door hinges, door latches, sneezes. oh god--those were fun times.

8/07/2005 6:13 PM  
Blogger Moo Moo said...

hahaha... oh god someone help me now!

8/08/2005 10:31 PM  
Blogger Debbie said...

Oh, oh,oh how i Remember those days not soo long ago (my darling son is 7 1/2 months old) It gets better...I promise!

8/10/2005 1:28 PM  
Blogger miranila said...

Yup it does get better.. but it gets worse first. then you hit the terrible twos (but that's a different thing altogether, let's not scare each other, shall we?)

My daughter is now 4 years old and my husband and i kinda look on those early months with fondness. yes, we do eventually get there

8/12/2005 6:02 AM  

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