will someone please rescue this child?
instead of a very VERY bad week, the child is scheduled to have merely a very bad week. we took her in to the laser dude on monday who took one look at her nose, which, since her first treatment, has become cracked and scabbed and bloodied, and said "i am not going to laser her nose today" and the tiny child, who was lying on the deadly laser death table of death, grinned because the universe breathed a sigh of relief, the sigh of a temporary stay of execution.
(this of course happened only a mere several minutes after the scab on her nose was accidentally ripped open by yours truly. we took the tiny monster to mrs nice guy's office for a public viewing on the way to the laser doctor's office. everyone made appropriate comments about how she is the CUTEST BABY OF ALL TIME EVER, even though she screams a lot and never sleeps. as we were leaving mrs nice guy's office, i cradled the baby against my chest, in the koala pose she so enjoys. she has this new trick where, in an attempt to gain motor control and master the niceties of self-piloting, she rears her head back as if to say "look ma, i have a neck and i'm not afraid to use it!" and then her head usually floomps forward in ignominious defeat. it's funny to watch someone fight with her own body. well, on the way out of the office she reared her head back -- "look, pa, i have motor cotro ... oops" -- and then slammed her head against my chest. she screamed. i thought she was just startled but when i lifted her up, i saw that her barely healed nose was BLEEDING onto her lip. i experienced the worst feeling of my life since the time i buckled her fatty thigh into her swing, you know, last week -- that was the previous worst feeling of my life, and that was just a bruise. i have now become baby-bloodying scum. mrs nice guy snatched her daughter out of my arms and shot sharp jagged daggers of hate from her eyes directly into my testicles. she may never let me have sex again.)
so the laser reprieve was welcomed by one and all.
now the bad news: today she is getting her shots. i understand the rabies inoculation is particularly painful. we are not looking forward to this.