deadbeat daughter
so today mrs nice guy returns home with my child. as it happens today is our three-year weddin' anniversary. three years. a tenth of my life. well spent, i'd say. tomorrow the baby turns 11 weeks old. she was out of town for nearly two of those, say 1.75 weeks. do you realize what this means? i haven't seen my daughter for SIXTEEN PERCENT of her life. what kind of deadbeat daughter is she, anyway? does she think she's too good for me or something?
i mean, that's a good chunk of time -- 16 percent of my life is almost five years. i hear that baby nice guy weighs a ton now, is smiling all the time, is more engaged with the world, and now has a full moustache. she's fluent in eleven languages. imagine! sixteen perecent of her life has been spent out of town, traveling. i won't even recognize her when i get home from work tonight. she is one sophisiticated little tyke. world weary. her dad is just some podunk backwoods tramp. no class. she doesn't need me anymore. we have grown so far apart.
i mean, that's a good chunk of time -- 16 percent of my life is almost five years. i hear that baby nice guy weighs a ton now, is smiling all the time, is more engaged with the world, and now has a full moustache. she's fluent in eleven languages. imagine! sixteen perecent of her life has been spent out of town, traveling. i won't even recognize her when i get home from work tonight. she is one sophisiticated little tyke. world weary. her dad is just some podunk backwoods tramp. no class. she doesn't need me anymore. we have grown so far apart.
posted by mr. nice guy at 10:19 AM
9 Comments:
*sniff* I am feeling compelled to drink a bottle of Jack and strum out some tunes on an acoustic guitar...
Somebody shoot me now!
The sad thing is that she probaly felt that somthing was missing, but dosent know what.
Poor guy.
Do Mrs.Nice Guy a favor and take out Baby Nice guy for a beer to give her a much needed break. Er. You know what I mean.
So funny .. I know exactly how you feel. Have fun tonight!
Happy Anni!
I'm anxious with your math, if that is the case, my yelling at my 3 year old a combined 15 minutes in a day means that since he's been born I've yelled a total of 135 hours (only counted daylight hours). God, that makes me feel sick.
But I just calculated it out and it's only .5% of his life. Does that make it better??? Poor poor child - but then again if it's only emergent yelling (as in "Don't throw your brother off the couch, it's *dangerious*!"), is it still that bad?
Who am I kidding? I'm going to hell.
Just wait until friends enter the picture, or school, or camp, or video games, or anything other than hey dad let's play frisbee.
delurking to ask if anyone else hears the faint tones of "Cat's in the cradle"...
actually wanted to say that you make me laugh on a regular basis. enjoy the evening with the family. hope you got rid of teh dust.
Wow... today is our wedding anniversary too, AND it's our 3rd as well... who knew, and our baby is DUE ANY FREAKING DAY... what a small world.
Happy Anniversary, and I agree as an anniversary present to Mrs. Nice Guy, baby nice guy deserves a beer break with Daddy Nice Guy. Have a good one.
Don't worry. I'm sure she had a photo of you in her little baby billfold. I bet she looked at it every chance she could.
Happy Anniversary! Poor baby nice guy, I am sure she missed you!
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