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Friday, October 15, 2004

batten down the hatches

mr. nice guy may be incommunicado for a couple days. the parents are coming, the parents are coming. (don't shoot till you see the whites of their cold, steely eyes.) they arrive this very evening from the left coast, a shore that mr. nice guy abandoned nigh on eight years ago. in that span of time, pater nice guy has visited once, mater nice guy twice. in eight years. traveling anywhere at all out of the way to see their prodigal son must rank on their list of priorities somewhere just under having their tonsils forcibly removed. with a spork. it took creating new life to get them to deign to visit. (buying a condo, alas, did not work.)

a brief word on la famille nice guy -- here's how they reacted upon hearing over the phone the news that their first born had procreated:

mr. nice guy: mrs. nice guy is pregnant.
mater nice guy: aaaaaaagh! [high-pitched falsetto-style abbreviated screams, not unlike those of janet leigh, may she rest in peace] aaaaaaaggh!
pater nice guy: congratulations; i think you'll find that a baby makes your house a home
mater nice guy: aaaaaagghh!
pater nice guy: just don't give it a weird name.

mater nice guy also confirmed that she did not want to be called "grandma" (for the record, pater nice guy, traditionalist that he is, said "grandpa" was just fine with him). mater nice guy is a young soul and her son agrees that perhaps "grandma" is too harsh an appellation for such an impish spirit.

"crazy nana" will do nicely.


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