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Monday, October 11, 2004

alien vs. predator, part deux

it was recently brought to mr. nice guy's attention that the film alien vs. predator ends with (forgive mr. nice guy if he gets this wrong; although an ardent cineaste, mr. nice guy has not yet caught this particular chef d'oeuvre) predator carrying alien's baby.

now, being one half of a currently-expecting mixed-race couple, mr. nice guy thinks this is simply wonderful (mrs. nice guy is actually the product of a biracial union; mr. nice guy is the product of a jewish and norwegian-shiksa-bombshell-hottie union. also, mr. nice guy has mom issues). mr. nice guy is thrilled to see american cinema once again tackling the serious issues of the day--racial politics, interspecies mating--with an unflinching eye. mr. nice guy cannot wait to see the sequel. think about it! there is real potential for a true sidney poitier-spencer tracy moment. predator, carrying the unholy seed within her fecund womb, brings alien home to meet the parents ... i mean, you're talking academy award guarantee!

the happy couple Posted by Hello

initially the predator family is shocked, they don't understand and they don't like it one bit. normally progressive parents who taught their daughter to have a mind of her own (i mean, check out her bitchin' dreads), they get all hung up on alien's slimy teeth and weird sightless head. but alien turns out to be cultured and charming. he speaks fluent predator. ultimately, he wins dad's respect.

"you're two wonderful people," says papa predator at the scene's most tear-jerkingly climactic moment, "who happened to fall in love and happen to have an intergalactic space-pigmentation problem." and then, just as everything appears to be all patched up, BOOYAH!! predator's chest explodes and baby devours grandpa!

seriously, mr. nice thinks he's onto something here. drama, action, suspense and romance all rolled into one. have your people call his people and we'll make this happen.


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