la famille nice guy

surely by now you are curious. who is this mr. nice guy? did he, like pan gu, swing an axe to break forth from his confinement in a cosmic egg? or was his mother more of a coatlique figure? the aztec goddess was impregnated by an obsidian knife through which she produced a litter of moon and stars. yet, after getting knocked up, shamefully, a second time, she bore the god of war, huitzilopochtli! ahhh, getting warmer, my friends.

here is an exchange mr. nice guy had with his mother, a real-estate shizzark, via an "instant messaging protocol" this very day. true facts:

mater nice guy: hiya! i just finished sending an email to s____.
mr. nice guy: how is that crazy bastard!?
mater nice guy: his mom has azlherimers, quite advanced, and he just got the settlement data for his divorce.
mr. nice guy: sounds like things could be better for him. [azlherimers is rough, though not nearly as rough as alzheimer's--ed.]
mater nice guy: i wanted to support him on the stuff with his mom and dad, and yet ask for the listing on his property as he has to sell it.
mr. nice guy: sweet
mr. nice guy: yet delicate
mater nice guy: walking on thin ice, but if you don't ask, someone else gets the apple.
mr. nice guy: so true
mater nice guy: i also told him to talk to your dad, as he is his true friend, and also, told him that i'm sure [pater nice guy] would like some support from him as marriage isn't all wine and roses.
mr. nice guy: whine and roses?
mater nice guy: good one.

and this! this is an e-mail mrs. nice guy received from mr. nice guy's little brother--much less a cain to mr. nice guy's abel than a romulus to his remus. what's that? mr. nice guy, splitting hairs? ha!

frere nice guy's emailed sympathy to a spectacularly vomitous mrs. nice guy:

i knew having sex with [mr. nice guy] would prove to be hazardous to your health.

mr. nice guy would be offended if it weren't so true!


ps & nb: la famille nice guy (as well as mrs. nice guy's own kinetic kin) has, to date, been the only ones notified of the Knocking Up of mrs. nice guy ... though, to be sure, not yet of this blog.