what married life is really like
mrs. nice guy took the day off from work today, largely in order to hone her vomitting skills. mr. nice guy, who works tuesday thru satiddy, usually has monday off. after making an impossibly bland veggie soup for the missus, mr. nice guy glanced at her form, splayed in seductive deshabille across the mudgreen couch and realized it's been a little while since he gave mrs. nice guy a ride on the pony express.
mr. nice guy: "you look nice today."
mrs. nice guy: "thank you. i don't feel so nice."
mr. nice guy: "i have half a mind to jump your bones."
mrs. nice guy: "i'll puke on your dick."
she actually said that. verbatim. it made mr. nice guy well up inside with pride and love.
anyway. i guess this is why god invented insanely hardcore internet porn.