remedies that don't do a damn thing to mollify mrs nice guy's unyielding nausea but people feel compelled to recommend every 13 fucking minutes anyway

trust me. these don't work. she still pukes:

1. ginger ale
2. hard candies
3. ginger tea
4. saltines
5. ginger hard candies
6. vitamin b6
7. ginger-flavored children's chewable vitamin b6
8. acupressure on her wrists, or anywhere else for that matter
9. sweet, steamy lovemaking with her ginger-slathered husband
10. graham crackers
11. fish tacos, oddly enough
12. lemons
13. cinnamon
14. have i fucking mentioned goddamn ginger yet?
15. toast
16. drinking lots of fluids. ok? she's drinking a daily yangtze fucking river of fluids
17. potatoes, be they mashed, chips, baked or drizzled with ginger
18. getting plenty of sleep (can't sleep when you're puking, people)
19. folic acid (really, now, what the fuck?)
20. apples
21. yogurt
22. wheaties

and, for good measure ... : ginger