on poop and siblings

i have a friend who is an indiscriminate e-mail forwarder. nothing you send her is sacred. if it's funny, odd, indicative of your particular psychoses, embarrassing or generally of any possible interest, she will forward it to someone else.

take this for example. this is an e-mail exchange between her brother and sister. she forwarded it to me. which means i get to share it with you. how awesome is this conversation? there's something endlessly amusing about two grown-ups rationally discussing a fundamentally primal incident. my favorite line: "I believe my 'excuse' for pooping on the floor is that I was less than two years old."

if i haven't totally lost you, read on:

-----Original Message-----
From: DA
Sent: Thu Mar 23, 2006
To: RT
Subject: circumstances

> DA wrote:

> Remember when you pooped on the kitchen floor? I was thinking about this the other day and I realized I couldn't remember almost anything about it.
>
> Here are my questions:
>
> - How old were you?
> - Were you wearing underwear? If so, how did the poop get out? > If not, why not?
> - What was your excuse/explanation for why this happened?
>
> Hope everything is going well.
>
> Love,
>
> D

-----Original Message-----
From: RT
Sent: Thu Mar 23, 2006
To: DA; L and D; GA
Subject: Re: circumstances

Funny you should bring that up because I was thinking about it recently when [my son] pooped on the bathroom floor. He was "cruising" around the tub, holding on to the edge, when I looked over and saw a big log slip right out of his crack. Amazingly, it emerged without any signs of a push. I was so shocked by its sudden appearance on the floor that I screamed. In [my son]'s case, he has no older siblings to remember this incident and taunt him with it in the future.

As for the particular incident you mentioned, the truth is that I was far too young to remember it or to be wearing underwear. I have it mixed up in my memory with that picture of me holding the bottle and wearing pajamas in the kitchen. I believe my "excuse" for pooping on the floor is that I was less than two years old. I think the real culprits have to be Mom and Dad. Why did they let me hang out in the kitchen without a diaper? Did they realize they were setting me up for a lifetime of ridicule?

Must go teach PE.
Love you, R