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Wednesday, November 17, 2004

what mr nice guy is mocking reading

should we be worried, people?

mrs nice guy has been receving gifts from her (VERY GENEROUS) friends now that everyone knows that three months ago 300 some-odd-million of my fantasically buoyant swimmer-sperm navigated her uterine straits, selecting the strongest gonad-ambassador to seduce her unsuspecting egg (man, those were the days). now that they know we're she's preggo, mostly people seem to think we should be reading. and here's what we should be reading:

this is a good book. but here's my concern: it is a book that professes to tell you what doctors aren't telling you, and it is co-written BY A DOCTOR. what the fuck? ladies, if you ever find yourself in the waiting room of one dr. john sussman, flee like the french! apparently he's not going to tell you everything you need to know. why should he? he's saving it all for his next best-selling help book. the dude probably forces his patients to read "the unofficial guide" like that college professor mr nice guy once had who assigned his own treatise on the key battles of the peloponnesian war. why aren't doctors telling us everything? what's with the scare tactics? help!

ok, maybe she's not a trophy wife, what with that whole law degree and everything, but vicki is a former playboy playmate. which means she would very likely get naked for mr nice guy because isn't that what former playmates are supposed to do? also she has four, to judge by the jacket photo, severely maladjusted hell-children. so, fine, she handles the pregnancy well, but maybe not what comes next, you know, that whole rasing-kids-thing. but did we mention she is a former playmate?


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