profiles in parenting!

i have long been on record that one of the top reasons for having children is to embarrass them. i cannot wait for the day when my daughter is 13 and waaaay too cool to hang out with her old man. that is PRECISELY when i am going to up the dork-factor on my attire (if, 12 years from now, that's even possible). i am going to make loud unfunny jokes and will be unabashed about my bodily functions whenever she has company. i am talking about sporting stained wife-beaters and short shorts with dark socks pulled up to my knees. especially when she has company. it will also be mustache time. oh yes. mucho mustacho.

anyway, today i discovered another reason to have kids: to scare the living shit out of them. is there any sweeter payback than this? these two boys apparently stayed up way past their bedtime watching the Texas Chainsaw Massacre ... and their parents profited greatly from it. this, my friends, is reason enough for anyone to become a parent: