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Tuesday, June 07, 2005

the last breastfeeding entry for a while, i promise

right on, sisterwoman! that goes for my readers too!

who knew that breastfeeding would have offered such a rich repository of material for mr nice guy? but there, when he opened his paper this morning, it was. too good to resist: "lactivists" had decended upon his fair city.

such a mixture of emotions did i have upon reading that article! first: barbara walters -- babs, if i may -- what happened to you? you must have shaman blood, because you sure created a shitstorm of silliness when you told the world that sitting next to a breastfeeding woman on a plane recently made you "uncomfortable." and you said this on the view?! i am guessing that approximately 98 percent of "the view" viewership consists of the lactationally inclined -- your nielsen rating probably suggest they're either nursing as they're watching you, have just finished nursing ... or are in a nursing home. not quite the demographic you want to get all anti-tits on. i mean, you host "the view!" babs! you sit next to star jones every day and breastfeeding makes you feel uncomfortable?

and while we're at it: lactivist ladies, why didn't i get the memo? i would have happily brought a bottle and nursed right along in solidarity with my sisters. fight the power!

whatever. there was more interesting breastfeeding affairs in the local news today, to wit, this brooklyn badass who took a stray bullet to the face while nursing. what did she do? she spat the fucker out and kept on feeding her kid! i normally wouldn't link to the new york post, but this was just too tasty:

Alicia Garcia, 34, was sitting in her third-floor apartment on Park Avenue in Bedford-Stuyvesant at around 9:15 p.m. Sunday when she felt something burning on the left side of her upper lip.

Garcia's other son, Marco, 15, who was standing nearby, said he saw his mother bleeding, but didn't know where she had been hit.

... Marco said his mother ended up spitting out the bullet.

"I said, 'Where is she shot?' She said in her mouth, and then she took out the bullet," he said.

Garcia, who suffered two fractured teeth, was taken to Bellevue Hospital, where she was treated and released.

first of all, hang on a second: "felt something burning?!" i thought getting shot in the face was supposed to, like, kill people. ok, so i am impressed, but not totally blown away. i happen to know for a fact that if that had been mrs nice guy, she would have spat the bullet out too and then gone straight up lactivist on the asswipe who fired the gun. she would have hunted him down and lactivized some serious pain into his body!

right after she got done lactivating barbara walters into the middle of next week, that is.


Anonymous Chloe said...

they are supposed to address the "Nurse-In" on The View tomorrow. I may just watch.

6/07/2005 10:33 PM  
Blogger Moo Moo said...

the View is stupid, I hate that show.

6/08/2005 1:20 AM  
Anonymous Louise said...

Oddly enough I WATCHED the view today (for the second time in my entire life!) and there was no Bawbwa on the show, but she did do a call-in and said that she said it wasn't her, but the man next to her who said he was uncomfortable. Now, having not seen the show when she apparently said what she said or didn't say, I don't know if she was telling the truth. But I love that it spurred on the "lactivists."

I wish I was a lactivist.

6/08/2005 2:53 AM  
Blogger BrunhildeCrow said...

10 years ago when my spawn was just a wee suckling larvae I was nursing him discretely behind a potted plant at the Carosel Mall in Syracuse, New York. An middleaged redneck man and his wife walked by and he craned his neck around to see what I was up to. "That's jest disgustin'" he opined.

My mother, a conservative Christian missionary, yelled, "That's what titties are for you perverted freak!"

I was never so proud...

6/08/2005 6:26 AM  
Blogger Candace said...

Makes me wanna squeeze out another rugrat just so I can be a lactivist again.

Wait, no it doesn't.

6/08/2005 8:45 AM  
Anonymous vb said...

By sheer coincidence, I went to my first La Leche meeting last night. I was surprised that no one brought up Barbara's 1950's Viewpoint. I am really shy, so I didn't bring it up either. I did, however, casually pop out a teat to feed my babe - as did every mom there without shame. It was great.

6/08/2005 9:36 AM  
Blogger Catharine said...

What's up with that sign that says "Babies are born to be breastfed"?

Babies are born to be breastfed? Like hell, they are. Babies are born to give us something to amuse ourselves with. Babies are born so that we can put goofy hats on them, and bunny ear headbands at Easter, and buy little bitty version of sweatshirt with our favorites sports team logos on them. Babies are born so that when they're 13, we can act goofy in the mall and embarrass the bejeebers out of them.

That's what babies are born for.

Silly, silly woman.


6/08/2005 3:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Since our host seems to be fond of Danish, I thought I'd just mention that 'Babs' actually means 'boobie' in that language.

6/08/2005 8:00 PM  
Blogger mr. nice guy said...

babs means boob in dansk! how fitting!

6/08/2005 10:59 PM  

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