a modest proposal: (that does involve babies, but not necessarily eating them ... yet)

i am getting a ton of awesome real-life blood-and-guts birth stories in the comments section. look, let me clarify: i've seen the videos. i know it's gonna be gushed-out and messy. i can take it -- i just tackled 5 months of pure vomity joy, you may recall. (i know, i know. you're saying, "that's not the same thing, mr nice guy." and i have formulated a reply: shut up.)

maybe we should have a contest to see whose childbirth is the sloppiest?

a modest proposal: ladies! and husbands! and witnesses! hit me with your gory, your bloody, your gushy, your disgusting birthing stories. i will choose my favorites on mother's day ...