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Wednesday, March 26, 2008

copulatin' calamari!

so over the weekend we had planned on going to cost-co because my in-laws left their car with us for the week and, well, we need lots of supplies. so we got going bright and early, very proud of our industriousness. but, wouldn't you know, it was easter sunday, so obviously the store was closed. boy were we ever ...


naturally, you have to assume that giant squids come from somewhere, right? no surprise: they have sex. well, sweet jesus, i never anticipated an article about mating mollusks would wind up being THE GREATEST THING I HAVE EVER READ IN MY LIFE EVER.

key quotes:
"scientists now believe the males had either accidentally inseminated themselves during 'violent' lovemaking sessions with females or been inseminated by other males after 'bumping' into them in the dark depths of the ocean."

i think i accidentally inseminated myself after reading that sentence.

"males get round their inferior size by being endowed with a particularly long penis, which means they can inject the female without having to get too close to her chomping beak. The male's sexual organ is actually a bit like a high-pressure fire hose and is normally nearly as long as his body"

wait. "high-pressure fire hose!!?" mmm, squid bukkake. i suddenly find myself craving calamari. with extra tartar sauce. waitress!


Blogger Menchuvian Candidate said...

And you saw this in the Costco parking lot? Eh, stranger things have happened.

What I don't get is how the possibility of the squid being gay, as opposed to going off half-cocked, or randomly injecting sperm packages into other males-yo, sorry, bro'-is dismissed. I mean, if a potential partner was 1/3 again my size, and boasted a chomping beak, I might well explore alternatives, too.

3/26/2008 12:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

In other squid-related news...

3/28/2008 10:12 AM  

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