liveblogging from bed! i [heart] percocet edition
aaaaand i'm back! as far as surgeries go, i'd have to say this was a
so apparently they gave me an epidural. thankfully they didn't send me home with a newborn. when i first woke up, though, everything below my waist was numb. everything. ever happen to you? terrifying. couldn't even wiggle my toes. gradually it wore off, of course, but man that was unpleasant. i don't like missing even one day of my kegel exercises. still, i found myself longing for that eerie numbness this morning when i got out of bed, reached for my crutches and felt all the blood in my body rush straight for my knee, which is now roughly the size of a woman's basketball. i can feel every heartbeat inside my knee THUB-DUB, THUB-DUB, FUCKYOU MR NICE GUY!, THUB-DUB. YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME? THUB-DUB. ouchie.
at least the doctor tells me that the surgery went exceptionally well and the menisucs i got was the perfect match. it was, also, "the thickest meniscus i've ever seen." how great is that? every time i wear shorts from now on, i plan on asking my wife: "honey, does this make my knee look fat?"
by the way, i am writing this on percocet. and my daughter just turned into a giant bat.
posting may still be light and may make even less sense than usual, but i'll be back with more gory/gritty details as the occasion warrants. and hopefully the drugs will take my writing to a whole new level. let's start with a haiku, why don't we:
my knee surgerydamn, that didn't quite fit into the haiku template did it? let's try again:
is finally behind me
and so is an army of undead Liberaches who want to eat my drug-addled brains
percocet is great
for coping with knee pain and
so is percocet