bad word, good baby
the scene: mr nice guy is at a pleasant little midtown restaurant with colleagues for a lunch tete-a-tete. mr nice guy's phone rings. he sees that it is from his home, where mrs nice guy is chilling with baby nice guy. he figures it would be a good idea to answer it.
mr nice guy (scurrying out the restaurant): hello? everything ok?
mrs nice guy: your daughter would like to have a word with you.
mr nice guy: um. ok.
baby nice guy: hi da-ddy.
mr nice guy (melting): hi baby girl! what do you have to say?
baby nice guy: FUCK!
mrs nice guy took the phone back, laughing hysterically, and explained that this afternoon, while she was working away at her laptop she blurted out "aw, fuck." baby nice guy, not even two years old, didn't miss a beat. AW FUCK! FUCK! AW!
as mrs nice guy was explaining this to me, between giggles, i could hear my kid in the background ticcing away like a tourretic fiend. FUCK! .... FUCKFUCK! i know i am supposed to not condone this. i know i need to not react with delerious approval every time she drops a big stinky f-bomb. i know this is not something you are supposed to let your daughter do with abandon.
but, fuck it. i mean, do you have any idea how funny/awesome it is to see your beautiful wee precious angel princess baby girl part her plump-pouty lips and go AW FUCK!?
mr nice guy (scurrying out the restaurant): hello? everything ok?
mrs nice guy: your daughter would like to have a word with you.
mr nice guy: um. ok.
baby nice guy: hi da-ddy.
mr nice guy (melting): hi baby girl! what do you have to say?
baby nice guy: FUCK!
mrs nice guy took the phone back, laughing hysterically, and explained that this afternoon, while she was working away at her laptop she blurted out "aw, fuck." baby nice guy, not even two years old, didn't miss a beat. AW FUCK! FUCK! AW!
as mrs nice guy was explaining this to me, between giggles, i could hear my kid in the background ticcing away like a tourretic fiend. FUCK! .... FUCKFUCK! i know i am supposed to not condone this. i know i need to not react with delerious approval every time she drops a big stinky f-bomb. i know this is not something you are supposed to let your daughter do with abandon.
but, fuck it. i mean, do you have any idea how funny/awesome it is to see your beautiful wee precious angel princess baby girl part her plump-pouty lips and go AW FUCK!?
posted by mr. nice guy at 5:04 PM
6 Comments:
My lovely, blonde haired, blue eyed angel was walking with the nanny at the age of about 2 1/2. They spotted some tulips that were dying. The angel's response to the almost dead tulips? "I fucking hate it when that happens!" The nanny's response - laughter and a great story to tell everytime she sees us (the angel is 12 now)!
My 15-month old is a big fan of "asshole" - much like in "Meet the Fockers." It sounds like ah-howl, but the impact is perfect. And, since he's so smart, he seems to only bust it out when my wife and I truly find whatever person with whom we're speaking to be worthy. We can dismiss it with a quick, "isn't that cute..." and only later reward him with whatever he wants. Teaching the kids to cuss is one of those beautiful rights afforded to us by the early sleepless nights. It's truly one of those things to look forward to.
When asked if he knew what kind of party we were going to, my then 19-month old son said "dildo party?" How do you explain that?
no heather. the actual question is: How do you TOP that?
I cannot believe this hasn't happened to me yet.
(sniff sniff) You must be so proud!
Now record it so we can hear it.
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