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Friday, November 03, 2006

friday funk. can you hear me now?

ok. we're trying a new file storage thingamajig and hopefully this will work. (the file is an mp4, but it was not purchased via iTunes. maybe it still has some DRM evil-ness in it anyway? still, this should work.)

anyway. once again, a little message from me to you, readers: You're a Hard Habit to Break, courtesy of Linda Balintine and the numero group label. can you feel it?

and as we head into the weekend, the promised poop story. the other day i was changing my little hairless mimicking monkey girl. it's scary how much she understands these days -- we need to start watching what we say. case in point: she was on the changing table, and i gingerly unwrapped her steaming nine-pound diaper. as i was hit with the full force of the chernobyl spillage in her pants i recoiled slightly and said "bleeuuugh!" then i wiped her clean and threw out the toxic diaper-burrito i had carefully folded. when i looked back at my naked grinning goon of a girl, she screwed her face into a look a disgust, grabbed her tiny cooter and went "BLEEEUUGH!"

so, great. i have now taught her to think her own girlparts are revolting. i found myself in the cosmically unforeseen circumstance of saying these words to my daughter: "oh, no, sweetie! not 'bleeuggh!' your vagina is wonderful! touch it. TOUCH IT ALL YOU WANT. please?"

clearly i need a raise so i can afford the 32 years of therapy she will need.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

so glad you're writing again! this cracked me up!

11/03/2006 11:15 AM  
Anonymous Sisco said...

Love it up (music). It's a vulva, man, not a vagina. VULVA. Not to be confused with Volvo.

11/03/2006 12:18 PM  
Blogger mr. nice guy said...

in high school, the Hot Mom (every school had one) of one of our friends drove a Volvo. we used to spend hours and hours asking him: "hey james, can i get a ride in your mom's volvo?" "hey james, we're all going to pile into your mom's volvo." "hey james, let's see how many people we can cram into your mom's big volvo." and so on.

dammit, it's still funny.

11/03/2006 1:02 PM  
Anonymous Mrs. Bojangles said...

Diggin' the music. Thanks for hanging in there with us. Re: poop story...I've warned my Mr. about the same diaper changing behavior. We're both guilty of violently dry-heaving with the creamy stink bombs. Our daughter's destined to keep her Volvo parked in the garage for life.

11/03/2006 2:18 PM  
Blogger stay-at-home mommy said...

Ok, the Volvo story has me just about in tears. That's hilarious.

11/03/2006 6:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My mom wanted her granddaughter's first word to be "vagina." We failed in that undertaking and it wound up being something utterly mundane like "Stop trying to make me say 'vagina,' dammit," but it was worth it to watch my brother's ears turn red with every attempt.

11/04/2006 10:20 AM  
Blogger mr. nice guy said...

anonymous, your mom sounds awesome. can i get a ride in her volvo ... provided it's still running?

11/04/2006 10:37 AM  
Anonymous minitru said...

Plug any of our records you wish, Mr Nice Guy. We're all about spreading the funk.


Minister of Culture
The Numero Group

11/04/2006 3:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mr. Nice guy, you are the first blog I ever read, and over a year later I still love your writing and check in weekly. Please keep up with your stories and insights-the nanny-mom story made me laugh outloud. I may not comment much, but I am reading with a smile.

11/05/2006 3:21 PM  
Blogger mr. nice guy said...

thanks, minitru. you guys are doing the lord's work (and not just on that hot gospel comp). happy to help spread the word!

11/06/2006 10:32 AM  
Anonymous egohound said...

Damn it! You would think I would know by now not to read your blog while on a conference call on speaker phone.

I hope they think I was snorting in agreement.

11/06/2006 3:32 PM  
Blogger Maxine Dangerous said...

The cooter story kills me. I came back to your blog to read it again. :)

11/09/2006 11:49 AM  

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