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Sunday, October 15, 2006

housing slump? what housing slump?

so for various reasons that are actually quite interesting but i don't feel like telling you, work has been hell the past couple weeks. hell. it's on fire and smells like rotten eggs. that kind of hell. i'm naked, getting branded every five minutes all while stuck in a windowless room with two opinionated french people who smoke a lot. no exit.

hence, no blogging.

but life, she has a funny way of grinding ever onward, even when you're swamped like a gator at the office. we're officially buying a house, for example. crikey! as you'll recall, we walked away from the dreamy speakeasy house, our hearts heavy with rocks of bile. (note to self: factcheck this later to see if rocks can actually be made of bile, and if they can, buy some.) but! a week later! we found another house! that we liked! almost as much! and we made an lowball offer! and they accepted! at which point we crapped ourselves!

lawyers leapt into action, engineers were summoned, mortgage applications obtained. last week we signed the contract. then the sellers signed the contract. then we put our sweet condo on the market. then! that very day, before the open house even, we got an offer for above asking price. what the fuck? does shit like this actually happen to people? certainly not to me.

so we had the open house anyway today because we are greedy fucks and we want to instigate a BIDDING WAR. stay tuned. at least our great fear has been assuaged: we will in fact be able to unload our apartment and won't be forced to take out more loans and sell our daughter in order to afford owning two houses at once (even though it would be pretty rad to have "multi-property-owning brooklyn slumlord" on my resume).

so the thing about the house we're buying? it's a house. and it's yellow. and it's in park slope! fun fact: the public school district for our house has the highest percentage of mentally retarded kids. at first i was a little ambivalent about this piece of trivia. but then it dawned on my blackened bilious heart that this means my kid is practically guaranteed to be in the top-performing percentile. thank you new york city!

anyway, the house has two floors, three bedrooms an office, a yard and a basement. you know what that means, don't you? basement? two words: man space. i am pretty sure i can die happy now.


Blogger KC said...

Holy cow, that's pretty incredible. You're pushing it with a wish for a pricewar, but you're looking untouchable at this point ;)

Be sure to catch us up on the Money Pit after you've been in there for a few months :)

10/15/2006 11:53 PM  
Blogger katre said...

Right now there's a corner of the new basement that is rapidly filling up with tools and lumber. Man space, yeah!

10/16/2006 9:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Congratulations! And I think I know which house you got ! -- it's gorgeous. Best of luck.

10/16/2006 9:50 AM  
Blogger mr. nice guy said...

good lord, katre! tools? lumber? dearie me, no. more like reams of delicious vinyl ... and an assortment of musical instruments ... and, soon, a Victrola. and headphones, so daddy can't hear anyone cry. and beer.

anonymous: i know i probably shouldn't be creeped out by that, but i was.

10/16/2006 12:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My wife had a dream that we were looking at an apartment in Brooklyn and tried to secretly make love in the bedroom to "try out" the new place. The agent covering the open house was "cool with it" says my wife. Just then the owners walked in...Apparently, there was an awkward moment in the dream with the apartment owners and us in their bed. Awesome. I thought what was interesting about the dream is that the brooklyn real estate obsession has seeped into my wife's sexual fantasties...scary....

Please note I'm not the previous anonymous...

10/16/2006 3:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

mr nice guy: didn't mean to creep you out at all! just that we're looking for houses too and so i kinda know all the ones on the market now. when you said it was yellow i just knew which one is all. sorry, man.

10/16/2006 4:25 PM  
Blogger Amy said...

No, that doesn't ever really happen. I listed my house 3BR, 2.5 BA house on almost an acre for three years. I guess I've been living in the wrong city.

10/16/2006 4:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Mr. Nice Guy - congratulations on the house.

A little nit picking though - mentally retarded is not so much the accepted description any more. Mentally challenged is much kinder!

10/16/2006 8:01 PM  
Blogger mr. nice guy said...

anon: it may not be PC but i do believe it's the correct medical terminology.

10/16/2006 8:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sorry if I came across as pissy - my brothers are both mentally challenged and typically people with that particular medical diagnosis (and their families) find the term "retarded" offensive.

I didn't mean to imply that you used incorrect terminolgy - only that to many of the families in your new neighborhood it may be offensive.

10/16/2006 11:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

how are you going to fill that place with furniture?

10/19/2006 11:56 AM  
Blogger The Laundress said...

Good luck and


I have become the world's champion of advocating downsizing, living in a huge and silly suburban new urban fantasy of everything overly-cramped urban parents would desire.

Be careful what you wish for...

There is a WHOLE lot to be said for smaller housing and less space to fill up with consumerist crap that your neighbors might think you need but the more you buy of it the more diminished you become, spiritually and intellectually.

Uh, your doom-mongering pal,

The Laundress (from the mIddle of hell)

10/28/2006 1:30 AM  

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