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Thursday, September 14, 2006

Mr Nice Guy and the Mothers of Invention

so i've recently started playing a little guitar with a colleague of mine. she has a thick sticky-sweet voice that could have been made by bees. what she is doing wasting her time with me and my hack chops is a mystery. anyway. we have the occasional carnegie hall gig lined up, including one tonight, but ... no name! we've been playing under our own real names, which are: PSYCHE.

i kinda want to come up with a band name, mostly because coming up with band names is something i do all the damn time. i also make up biography titles all the time. biographies are fun. they all fit a specific formula: _____, the Mr Nice Guy Story. so for example: "My Knee Hurts, the Mr. Nice Guy Story." or "Naps are for Pussies; The Baby Nice Guy Story." or "Remind Me Again Why I Married You: The Mrs. Nice Guy Story."
but band names have no rules. anything goes!

you'd figure once i finally had an actual band (ok, cringe-inducingly earnest folksy duo) i'd have a name at the ready. wrong! we can't agree on anything. here are some of my favorite (rejected) band name candidates, some more serious than others:
  • Hymen and Funkgarble
  • Awesomeface
  • The Letdowns
  • Polly Andry and Her Various Suitors
  • Stewpan
  • Overpeck Township
  • Temecula
  • Led Zeppelin
  • Omega 3 and the Fatty Acids
  • The Buttermilk Channel
  • Hobo Hurricane
  • Hillbilly Magic
  • Old News

And my all-time favorite made-up band name for my nonexistent band, which has mystifyingly gone unclaimed for several years now (someone please take it and use its powers for good):


Here are two actual names that high school friends' bands had: Trousersnake (so very excellent) and Canadian Border Patrol (which used to play with a huge canadian flag hanging behind them. after they started getting gigs at Gazzari's (R.I.P.) and the Whisky and the Troubadour, they shortened it to Border Patrol. pretty good actually.)

I'm taking suggestions. Anyone got a good band name?


Anonymous BrooklynGirl said...

You could borrow the name I've been reserving for my son's band: The Prodigious Shitters (though it may not suit you quite as well).

9/14/2006 12:35 PM  
Anonymous egohound said...

How about "cringe-inducingly earnest folksy duo"? Too long?

9/14/2006 12:37 PM  
Blogger mr. nice guy said...

hmm, egohound. that does have a nice ring to it.

9/14/2006 12:39 PM  
Anonymous Lisa said...

I like my friend's new concept band name, "Canadian Tuxedo" which apparently means all band members will be wearing blue jeans with blue jean jackets, aka the Canadian tuxedo, and doing only covers of Canadian rock. Can't wait to see them.

9/14/2006 12:58 PM  
Blogger Lesley said...


9/14/2006 1:38 PM  
Anonymous laurie said...

how about "please hold me."

also, do you know about this:

(and others like it.)

9/14/2006 2:07 PM  
Blogger mr. nice guy said...

yes laurie, i saw that. but it seems so ... impersonal. i want an ORGANIC band name. not something generated by a soulless computer that doesn't know how to ROCK. (or at least strum plaintively)

9/14/2006 2:11 PM  
Anonymous LOD said...

I've always been partial to "The Tromboners."

9/14/2006 2:47 PM  
Blogger Miss Britt said...

What's wrong with "Mr. Nice Guy"?

9/14/2006 2:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mr. Nice Guy and the Wankyjohn McPeckerpulls

(One of my favorite all time MNG phrases).

9/14/2006 3:01 PM  
Blogger Dutch said...

I have two for you:

1. skillkrane

2. camel toe rodeo

9/14/2006 3:08 PM  
Blogger mr. nice guy said...

camel toe rodeo! dutch comes through in a clutch even though he's using some old internets powered by a parapalegic hamster in a rusty wheel.

9/14/2006 3:21 PM  
Blogger onyx said...

I just wanted to let you know that reading your journal always makes me laugh. I was feeling all down today and I read a few of your entries, within a minute I was giggling uncontrollably. My co-workers are still wondering about that.

9/14/2006 3:29 PM  
Anonymous Maia said...

Temecula has a nice ring to it (unless you have been there that is). Any city good enough for Tyrese must be good enough to have a "cringe-inducingly earnest folksy duo" named after it.

BTW (By the Whey? - it has a folksy ring, when people ask you if you have a band you can say "Whey" in your best Valley girlese), I came over from amalah's blog during the "Claudia affair" and have not found my way back.

9/14/2006 3:45 PM  
Anonymous Brenda said...

Hahahaha from the band name generator:

*Slow Grammar and the Almighty Bazooka
*Mock of the Stoked Deity
*Evil Euphoria
*Straight Gnome

Although this one is probably better for the *blech* folksy music:
*Shingle of the Solo Jade

Ok, and if you don't mind a *little* spam, just a little, sorry...

Want to sell your CDs cheap(to both Canada and internationally):

Also offering website design, hosting, and *new* blog design and hosting. Also if you happen to be in Toronto the best cheap recording, mixing and mastering in town.

(Sorry Mr. Nice Guy just trying to get enough work for hubby so we don't starve)

9/14/2006 4:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

amish methlab

9/14/2006 4:23 PM  
Blogger zygote daddy said...

Maybe it's the ecologist in me, but I think you have a winner with Polly Andry and Her Various Suitors.

Just brilliant.

9/14/2006 6:56 PM  
Blogger Nefarious Nina said...

I was batting this around a few years ago, too, after having learned to play the A chord. Five years later, and still only knowing less than five chords, the name is still mine so don't even think about it: Skinny Mitten.

9/14/2006 7:20 PM  
Blogger kristin said...

My fantasy all-girl punk band is called "The Little Black Triangles." I write song titles for us all the time. Most recently "I wanna get it on with Santa."

9/14/2006 8:09 PM  
Anonymous lil said...

I actually agree with the "Polly Landry and her various suitors" I would so go see that band. Or "Twinburger"

9/14/2006 9:39 PM  
Blogger Jess said...

I LOVE Awesomeface. Very catchy and easy to remember. Think of all the great bands out there with one-word names.

9/14/2006 10:13 PM  
Anonymous MetroDad said...

Personally, i think "Squidjacket" is pure genius!

9/14/2006 10:53 PM  
Blogger mr. nice guy said...

thank you, MD! i mean, what does an acoustic-guitar-noodling soul-patched honky have to do to get a little squidjacket love around the interweb campfire anyway?

and zygote diggity: our cleverness will never be fully understood by the unscrubbed masses. know it and let it make you feel superior forever. it helps me through the day, anyway.

9/15/2006 12:58 AM  
Anonymous Mel said...

How about "Bomb Shelter Melons"? Made it up when I worked at a food co-op.

9/15/2006 10:24 AM  
Anonymous sheameister said...

Always wanted a band named, "That fucking guy." Can you just imagine... (heard on the street) "Hey, did you see That Fucking Guy?" "Who is That Fucking Guy?" "God, I hate That Fucking Guy." The T-shirt possibilities are equally exciting.

9/15/2006 11:14 AM  
Anonymous samantha Jo Campen said...

Camel Toe Rodeo is fucking fantastic.

So is That Fucking Guy.

All I could think of is Finger Lickin' Good but that doesn't meet your creative genius. I bow my head in shame.

9/15/2006 3:57 PM  
Blogger SmarshyBoy said...

I was saving this for myself, but I'll let you have it:

Jeeze Louise

9/15/2006 4:52 PM  
Blogger mr. nice guy said...

i LOVE "that fucking guy." genius. problem is, with that name you'd never get a gig on letterman

9/15/2006 4:58 PM  
Anonymous monkeyaker said...

Vegan Dinosaur and the Astounding Navels

9/15/2006 5:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Okay, coupla rules for band names:
1) No more than one or two words. Unless it's something really good like "Polly Andry and Her Various Suitors."
2) If the name has to be explained, it's not a good name.
3) Band name should mean somethin' to the band or reflect your musical style. Ideally, both.
4) You gotta have stage names, too. You could be "Hack Gittarplayer" and your partner could be "Dulcet Tones", for example.
5) Band name should slip easily off the tongue of whatever addlepated yahoo the venue has introducing you guys. Anything with more than three syllables is therefore out.

Name possibilities:
Honeycomb (there can't be anything folksier than that)
Muldar and Scully
Money for Nothin' (on second thought, maybe not. People should pay to see you. Or least be charged a fee to be let out of your concerts. Kidding. Just kidding :-)
Scrooge & Marley
Holly and Ivy
Uptown, Downtown

I was going to add "Vinnie Three Fingers Owes Me a New Meniscus" but that's just too long ....

9/15/2006 5:23 PM  
Anonymous monkeyaker said...

Mr. Felcher and the Horrible Accidents

9/15/2006 5:24 PM  
Anonymous monkeyaker said...

The Brad Pitt Stains

Okay, I'm done now...

9/15/2006 5:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I like Omega3 and the Fatty Asses. I am just saying is all.

9/15/2006 5:50 PM  
Blogger justdawn said...

Pockets of know that if Dave Barry thinks it would make a good name for a band...then is MUST rock:)

9/15/2006 7:15 PM  
Blogger bigger_Daddy said...

Two ideas:

1) Taco Meat
2) Free Beer

Erin (masquerading, STILL, as Bigger_daddy)

9/15/2006 11:31 PM  
Anonymous Lucky said...

College bands' names that I thought were cool in 1989:

Oscar's Gone Wild

Now I can't decide if they sound too liberal-arts-philosophy-major-snotty-pretentious or if they are indeed, still cool. You decide.

9/17/2006 11:39 PM  
Anonymous mommika said...

Naming your band is easy! You just have to take whatever's your inspiration, brainstorm a bit, put a few words together and viola, the names will flow. Here are my kid-inspired band names:

1) Razortoe (child has freakishly fast-growing nails)
2) Cartruck
3) The Ancient Suckers (in the couch)
4) Mr. Poop-poop and the Skunky Buns
5) Intentional Tantrum
6) [this is the] Very Last Book

Good luck MNG!

9/18/2006 9:01 AM  
Anonymous anagram said...

God, I cringe at even suggesting something in the face of the brilliance I see here, but before I saw Camel Toe Rodeo I was partial to:

Biscuitcity (Name of the road I grew up on)

Funky Cubano

Urban Tripe

I realize that none of these may apply, but can't wait to hear what you choose.

9/18/2006 11:58 AM  
Anonymous NottheMamma said...

I have it. I was saving it for my band, but you can have it. It is:

Muccus Plug

9/18/2006 3:54 PM  
Blogger MeanMommy said...

I used to love to play the "If I was in a band..." game, my current favorite is The Poon Tangerines.

9/18/2006 4:16 PM  
Blogger desiree said...

John and the Galts?

Nero and the Wolfes?

Gutter Slut Tranny Team and the Super Skank Crusaders?

My friends college band went through several names. The two I recall most vividly are "Elephantitis" which was obviously awesome and "Mulitfarious Tonal Assault" which they shortened to MTA. I think they also went by "Nacho" and then the "Marones" when they morphed into a Ramones cover band.

9/20/2006 6:44 PM  
Anonymous laurie said...

wow - this is still going on?! that's awesome! camel toe rodeo ha! squidfingers rocks too. great logo potential (for stickers, duh). whatever will you choose!

9/21/2006 1:59 AM  
Anonymous marion said...

Don't ask me where I came up with this, but:
Aldo Nova

9/21/2006 2:10 AM  
Blogger sozzled said...

Hazy Oatmeal Dream

9/21/2006 10:29 PM  
Blogger Bkwyrm said...

Check out the Bad Bandname Archive for ideas:

9/22/2006 1:28 PM  
Blogger just_impaired said...

Polly Andry and #2

9/23/2006 5:01 AM  
Blogger Kara said...

I know! "mom fart"

9/25/2006 11:18 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ADD and the Distractions

9/25/2006 3:56 PM  

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