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Thursday, July 13, 2006

nail number 2 or 3 in my coffin. i am losing count.

so in their infinite wisdom, the powers that be asked me to participate in a panel discussion at work for the benefit of the interns. only mildly terrified of large herds of over-eager earnest 20 year-olds, i agreed to share what little wisdom i have acquired in my brief and painful professional journey to mediocrity. i gave a mortifying little account of my career to date--as did, much more charmingly, my four colleagues also on the panel--and then i awkwardly fielded a couple questions. mostly painless. until.

until after the little panel discussion, that is. i was back in my office, packing up my things for the day (you know, tools of the trade: hacksaw, nail polish remover, baked beans) when one of the interns walked into my office, shocked.

intern: wait. are you OLD?
mr nice guy: wha?
intern: me and rebecca were listening to you talk about your experience--you know, grad school, internships, jobs other places--and we were adding it all up only it didn't add up. you must be old.
mr nice guy: how old did you think i was?
intern: 26? 27?
mr nice guy: and how old do you think i am now?
intern (thoroughly disgusted): like, 31?
mr nice guy: exactly ... so am i old?
intern: you look young. that'll be good when you're really old. like 40.


Blogger zygote daddy said...

Wait. 31 isn't old? Am I missing something here?

7/13/2006 5:19 PM  
Anonymous Kristin said...

31 IS old to someone in their early twenties, I know because I am 31.

Nail in the coffin, for sure.

7/13/2006 5:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

31 is bloody old. After 27, it all goes to hell in a handbasket. Hang in, practice with a cane, start retinol A now, and begin a long search for the perfect nursing home

7/13/2006 6:00 PM  
Anonymous samantha Jo Campen said...

I'm 27 and my husband turns 31 on Tuesday. I always ask him how is hip is feeling and if he needs me to pick up any Polydent when I go grocery shopping.

It's just so easy I have to do it! And I'm not even an intern. He he he he.

7/13/2006 7:57 PM  
Anonymous JGS said...

It's insane, I've started to call 21 years olds, "kids." When I was 21 I hated being called a kid, but man, they are kids. And I look at them as kids, then they must look at me as if I am...



7/13/2006 8:34 PM  
Blogger Terra said...

Mr. Nice Guy,
Can you go smack that intern for me? Thanks!

7/13/2006 8:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

31 is young Mr. Nice Guy - I remember it fondly. I hate those interns :(

7/13/2006 9:43 PM  
Blogger Waya said...

I might as well excuse myself from this conversation, I guess I'm ancient! Going on 38, acting like 15, and looking like 21 (thank goodness for hubbie!)

7/13/2006 9:45 PM  
Anonymous LOD said...

Crap. I'm finished.

7/14/2006 12:40 AM  
Blogger femme d'espoir said...

Bring on the anti-wrinkle, skin firming, collagen stimulating, anti-aging creams! I feel great, not too many saggy areas yet, and can still turn a few heads. And better yet, turning 40 was totally liberating. Watch out world. I've just begun.

To hell with the interns! I've LIVED!

7/14/2006 2:55 AM  
Blogger Teri said...

does it matter if I'm 40 but people still think I look like I'm 30?

7/14/2006 12:41 PM  
Blogger stay-at-home mommy said...

Blagh. I just turned 30. I didn't feel too bad about it. Until now. Thanks a lot, you young interning punk!

7/14/2006 6:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This just in: Intern Dies in Freak Office Hacksaw Incident. "I don't know what happened," stated Mr. Nice Guy. "One minute we were talking and the next wham! this hacksaw came out of nowhere and took his head completely off." This newsfeed brought to you by Remember, interns, the life you save could be your own.

7/14/2006 8:45 PM  
Anonymous mothergoosemouse said...

I thought I was on death's door. You've just confirmed it. Actually, your interns did.

Does it help if I still get carded?

7/14/2006 10:58 PM  
Blogger Natalie said...

Thos interns are just babies. They don't know it, but if they ever live to be 30 (and get any wiser) they may one day realize it.

7/15/2006 9:40 AM  
Blogger James Turpin said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

7/17/2006 12:38 PM  
Blogger James Turpin said...

I feel your pain. I went to a social function a couple weeks ago, and somebody said, "From your description of your job, we gather that you are a lot older than you look." I asked how old I look. She said I looked 17. I'm 27. What's really weird is that when I was 22 I looked like I was 30. So I'm getting younger. It must be because of all the money I'm making, and that I typically only work 40 hours a work, whereas when I was 22 I was paid peanuts and I was studying and doing homework all the time.

7/17/2006 12:40 PM  

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