the gift for her that's a gift for you
such style! such poise! and note how well it goes with your child's bifocals! so totally teen; so very rad! that's right, dad, nothing says "
hot fun in the summer" like the chastity swimsuit, complete with patented rust-proof crotch-lock technology.
buy this for your daughter and she will spend the rest of her life thanking you for the greatest swimsuit ever! she definitely won't someday run off with the first horse-snorting illiterate ex-con hell's angel who catcalls her from outside the middle school: "hey white girl, did you leave your ass at home?!" and there's certainly no way she's going to spend her 20s trying to get into ozzfest by blowing dudes in the parking lot.
no siree! thanks to wholesome swimwear, your daughter will live a life of immaculate modesty. and the bonus of it all? you'll be the only man she ever loves!