the snot cork goes awol
"WHAT?" i reply, instantly awake, adrenaline pumping wildly into my bloodshot eyes. "where did you last see it? you need that! retrace your steps!"
turns out she last saw it in the john, right before she flushed. do you know how hard it is to snake a mucus plug out of a toilet and feverishly try to reapply it to your wife? DO YOU? it's very, very hard.
so, basically, it's on. baby is imminent. minutes or hours away. or days. i don't know. this is all very confusing. i am so, so cold ... naked, quivering ... hold me.