be it so resolved
happy new year, dear readers. apparently you exist. sure, there are only 8 of you, but that makes it easier for me to love you all. aww.
so. to business. what have we resolved in this newest of new years? 2005. the future is now. bring. it. on.
GIVEN that mr nice guy is one handsome gentleman with solid moves on the dancefloor and ...
GIVEN that mrs nice guy is a STONE FOX and ...
GIVEN that everyone we know is basically healthy (physically, at least), well-meaning, gainfully employed, in awe of me and the astonishing potency of my seed and ...
GIVEN that mrs nice guy is some 21 weeks preggers (she went THREE FULL DAYS without puking ... until this morning. a new record) and our child will clearly be better than everyone else's ever ...
BE IT SO RESOLVED that in this new year we will try not to be unbearably smug about our remarkable goodlooks fortune and ...
BE IT ALSO RESOLVED that in this new year we will gratefully accept as our special burden the piles of cash and gifts and cash that you will all be sending to us at the nice guy world headquarters in brooklyn, new york.
may all your dreams come true this year. (except for that one with the monkeys, spatulas and easy cheese. that's a dream no one needs to know about.)
so. to business. what have we resolved in this newest of new years? 2005. the future is now. bring. it. on.
GIVEN that mr nice guy is one handsome gentleman with solid moves on the dancefloor and ...
GIVEN that mrs nice guy is a STONE FOX and ...
GIVEN that everyone we know is basically healthy (physically, at least), well-meaning, gainfully employed, in awe of me and the astonishing potency of my seed and ...
GIVEN that mrs nice guy is some 21 weeks preggers (she went THREE FULL DAYS without puking ... until this morning. a new record) and our child will clearly be better than everyone else's ever ...
BE IT SO RESOLVED that in this new year we will try not to be unbearably smug about our remarkable good
BE IT ALSO RESOLVED that in this new year we will gratefully accept as our special burden the piles of cash and gifts and cash that you will all be sending to us at the nice guy world headquarters in brooklyn, new york.
may all your dreams come true this year. (except for that one with the monkeys, spatulas and easy cheese. that's a dream no one needs to know about.)
posted by mr. nice guy at 2:36 PM
1 Comments:
Look, it wasn't easy cheese alright. It was chocolate body sauce and hundreds and thousands.
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