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Tuesday, October 26, 2004

damn you, sims2 !!!

mr. nice guy made a big mistake. a colossal error in judgment. a massive snafu. we're talking on the magnitude of the metric-conversion-gaffe-that-resulted-in-the-mars-orbiter-crash. what did mr. nice guy do that was so terribly wrong? he bought sims 2.

it all started innocently enough. since i took the week off to be with my napping--and did we mention puking?--wife (not, i should point out, in spain), i figured it would be deliciously thoughtful of me to buy a few board games. so off to the new--and thoroughly uncontroversial--downtown target i went.

mr. nice guy likes scrabble. he is something of a wordsmith. so he bought scrabble. mrs. nice guy likes risk-- why do you think she deigned to marry mr. nice guy? so he bought risk. and then, as he was making his way to the cashier, something caught his eye. that's right: PC games. not normally a gamer, mr. nice guy has been a fan of sim city since its earliest days. and he was intrigued by the sims games. and they had the new one at a discount. and so he bought
sims 2.

SOMEBODY PLEASE KILL ME! please, mr. nice guy begs you. i can't ... seem ... to break ... free. i can't turn my confounded computer off and since mrs. nice guy is pretty much always asleep i have NO REASON to turn it off. mr. nice guy is slowly losing what is left of his tiny mind. i need to pick up a crack habit to wean myself from the devil's candy that is sims 2.

a word about sims 2. if some evil pusher ever convinces you to try it, DO NOT make sims that look exactly like you and your spouse. mr. and mrs. nice sim moved into a house and ... mrs. nice sim promptly got pregnant. fair enough. then she started throwing up a lot. how eerie. then the toilet broke and mr. nice guy couldn't convince mrs. nice sim to stop puking in it. then they just stopped doing anything i told them to. then mr. nice sim wet himself. then the baby came and the sims kept putting it on the floor, even though mr. nice guy supplied them with a PERFECTLY GOOD CRIB. distraught, mr. nice guy euthanized his own creations (how's that for incredibly evil karma?) and started again -- by making sim versions of his anthropomorphized cats.

i need sleep. it's been almost two solid days. and i think the toilet is broken. or was that the sim toilet? i can't ... tell the ... difference anymore.


Blogger Cattiva said...

hahaha! My kids LOVE the Sims and have been begging for Sims2. When they are allowed computer time, that's their game of choice (they have several versions).

My youngest (who is the "challenging" child) had her baby sim taken away by child protective services. I thought that was hysterically poignant!

10/27/2004 1:54 PM  

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