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Thursday, January 29, 2009

in loving memory

ok so it's been a few days now, but i'd like to better illustrate for you the painful day that was friday. first of all, check out this motherfucking bush:


look at those thorns! check out those gnarled, dried-out jagged stems of death! now imagine one of those thorny, twisted sharp bastards sliding right into your eye as you're walking along at a steady homeward-bound clip! imagine it! do it! pain, i tell you. agony. searing hot fire-ouch.

it's had some time to heal, but check out my poor eye: see that speck to the right of my gorgeous hazel iris? that's the Wound. a millimeter to the left and i'd be typing this post on a braille keyboard!

i know what you're thinking: mr nice guy is a big pussy. just say it already! 

here's my toe. not broken, as it turns out, but still purple:


damn, i need to hit a pedicurist. 

so, there you have it. oh, and my other news? remember how the doctor said eat a low fat diet throughout the duration of my possible gallstone attack? "no more bratwurst" or whatever. yeah, well screw that. i went to a new wine bar in my neighborhood called Brookvin on saturday. i happen to know the head chef (he used to be the cook at Newsweek -- that's right, Newsweek has a cook.) more importantly, he's worked at Savoy and for some reason he likes me. on the day after my doctor's visit the wife and i decide to check out the new establishment. i almost decide not to go because my side aches and i feel a little woozy and walking there in the cold puts me in a real bitchy mood. but the second we sit down, my friend hooks us the fuck up with chicken liver, lardo, pancetta, homemade head cheese (!) ... and bratwurst! i ate every last fucking bite! and the wine flowed and the lord saw that it was good. 

the next day, saturday, wouldn't you know it: no more pain in my side. little Charles de Gall had gone silent. i felt 100 percent better. maybe all the fat greased his journey right through my colon. who knows.

it pains me to say it, but i believe i lost Charles this weekend. we hardly knew him. 


Charles de Gall 
Jan. 13 2009 - Jan. 18 2009
Go in peace.

6 Comments:

Blogger Amanda said...

I'm sorry for your loss, but appreciate the photo journey of your no good, very bad day last week.

1/29/2009 12:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

man, I'd kill for your lovely eyelashes...your toes (and gallbladder) on the other hand...

1/29/2009 11:47 PM  
Blogger mr. nice guy said...

you should see my daughters' eyelashes. they may not be as staggeringly good looking as i am, but damn they have nice eyelashes.

1/30/2009 7:33 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

You are so lucky that the thorn only hit your sclera!
Hmm...Do you chew on your toe nails?
I love it Charles de Gall sounds like a scientist.

2/05/2009 6:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

At first I thought it was an ultra sound of a baby....little did I know that it was far from it. Glad you didn't lose your eye.

2/07/2009 8:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dude c'MON! I'm eating here and then get slammed by your toe? Put a warning on that bad boy.

Also? Score with the eyelashes.

2/13/2009 9:23 PM  

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