my head hurts
that said, resse witherspoon would like you to know that you are, indeed, raising a douchebag. the highest paid actress in hollywood is in fact so worried about her kids turning out like your kids that she actually wants you to abuse them: "I wouldn’t want my children to miss out on any of that teasing and bullying. Don’t you think it kind of makes you who you are — when you don’t make the soccer team?" i so wish i was an 11-year-old classmate of little rumour pax apple maddox witherspoon so I could steal--his? her?--lunch money and then administer a few swirlies. because that would be, you know, the un-douchebaggy thing to do.
in other parenting news, switzerland wants you to jerk off your toddlers. that is all.