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Saturday, February 16, 2008

my head hurts

the details blog wants to know: are you raising a douchebag? i'm a little disappointed that #1 on the douchebag checklist isn't "if you frequently read the details blog, especially for parenting tips, then you may have douchebaggery encoded into your DNA -- meaning yes, you are probably raising a douchebag."

that said, resse witherspoon would like you to know that you are, indeed, raising a douchebag. the highest paid actress in hollywood is in fact so worried about her kids turning out like your kids that she actually wants you to abuse them: "I wouldn’t want my children to miss out on any of that teasing and bullying. Don’t you think it kind of makes you who you are — when you don’t make the soccer team?" i so wish i was an 11-year-old classmate of little rumour pax apple maddox witherspoon so I could steal--his? her?--lunch money and then administer a few swirlies. because that would be, you know, the un-douchebaggy thing to do.

in other parenting news, switzerland wants you to jerk off your toddlers. that is all.

3 Comments:

Blogger Menchuvian Candidate said...

Uh, I'm kind of thinking that last thing won't be making my "to do" list, what with all the time going to insulting my toddler, writing my son's essays for school, and trying to book a HIlton sister to be his date for the prom—but thanks, really.

2/16/2008 2:14 PM  
Blogger Fairly Odd Mother said...

(thumping my head on the table)---why oh why did I have to click on that last link?

Yeah, and bullying SO makes kids much better people. I love when celebrities try to relate to the real world.

2/16/2008 4:13 PM  
Blogger Trish said...

Oooooh, that last link is horrible! And as to the rest ... Yeah, you sure don't want your kids to miss out on any of that important bullying. It makes them who they are - self-esteem problem, years of therapy, and all. Really important stuff there. Definitely not to be missed.

2/17/2008 5:48 PM  

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