i thought summer was supposed to be less busy
are you as sick as i am of seeing sting's smug mug in the top post of this blog? you are?
TOUGH TITS! i have much to report and no time to do it in. here it is in brief: my bro got married last weekend in LA. i was the officiant. i made it official. i signed the marriage license. how terrifying is that? the kid was tolerably well behaved on the flight there, saving a massive screaming-induced vomiting attack for the brand spanking new rental car during the drive to my parents house. the flight back went less smoothly -- she screamed "DIRTY DIAPER!" over and over and over while we were on lockdown on the tarmac for 30 minutes after landing. she squirmed and yelled so much that she smeared crap from her pants all up her back and all over her shirt. that was rad.
anyway, being back at work has never felt so restful and nice. i will update more when i crawl out from under my pile of deadlines. at least now i know why all my readers have given up on me. i will try harder soon, i promise.
TOUGH TITS! i have much to report and no time to do it in. here it is in brief: my bro got married last weekend in LA. i was the officiant. i made it official. i signed the marriage license. how terrifying is that? the kid was tolerably well behaved on the flight there, saving a massive screaming-induced vomiting attack for the brand spanking new rental car during the drive to my parents house. the flight back went less smoothly -- she screamed "DIRTY DIAPER!" over and over and over while we were on lockdown on the tarmac for 30 minutes after landing. she squirmed and yelled so much that she smeared crap from her pants all up her back and all over her shirt. that was rad.
anyway, being back at work has never felt so restful and nice. i will update more when i crawl out from under my pile of deadlines. at least now i know why all my readers have given up on me. i will try harder soon, i promise.
13 Comments:
When you're back, any tips on successfully officiating at a wedding would be most appreciated. I'll be the officiant at my best friend's wedding next spring.
Oh, and congrats on a successful trip (less the back crap, of course).
Ah yes...back crap. My kid screams "Butt" when he "decorates" his pants. It causes people to stare.
Bummer! You were out in my hood and we couldn't say hi!
Glad all went well with your trip. Traveling with a kid seems to age you as though you had to carry the child on your back while you walked that distance instead of flying... why is that?
I haven't given up on you. I just haven't been able to come up with the witty comments your posts demand.
Also? I've had the stomach flu, so I kind of abandoned everybody.
I still love you, MNG.
I did not, in fact, get sick of looking at Sting, because he looks more like Gordon Ramsay every time I look at it. Freaky.
Anyway, just to let you know, strangers like me still read your blog.
Also, some of us strangers are also officiating our first weddings, perhaps as soon as next weekend, and are glad that if Mr. Nice Guy can pull it off, so can we.
I flew to nyc last wkend on that pdx-jfk red eye thing. The kid refused to sleep. And said so. "Not sleeping," she said, firmly shaking her 2-yr-old head. As we descended for arrival, near tears, I tried in my delirium to deposit a plastic bag wrapped pee diaper in the trash bag the attendant held. That's like against code or something. The whole thing was awesome. Oh, did I mention our flights left 3-4 hours late on both ends?
Glad you are back!!!!
And who could get tired of staring at Sting. He's awesome.
Hey, we want to hear about the officient and his brother's wedding. we're waiting...waiting...don't forget us.
I don't really care about the wedding; I'm kind of anti-wedding, aside from my own. Not anti-marriage, just anti-"expensive, over-planned, prince and princess registered for Mikasa even though we've never cooked a meal at home and by the way the wedding is in Hawaii--can you still make it?"
Oops, my bitterness is showing. MNG--come back. You are missed. Hope you and Family Nice Guy are okay.
Ok, MNG. Instead of Sting sucking on a strawberry, I'm confronted with TOUGH TITS in my face as I check in on you each day.
Enough with the TOUGH TITS. Come back and please make me laugh. I'm in my first trimester of carrying twins. Throw me a bone here.
Helloooooooooooooo!
We miss you.
hel-loooooo?
anybody?
Bueller?
Bueller?
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