my daughter, my torturer
for two glorious weeks, i have had the company of my bride. we have been a complete family. we bonded for two glorious weeks.
for two glorious weeks i was not left alone with the baby once.
for two glorious weeks -- thanks to my wife, our friends and extended family -- i have only had to be an alert father for a sum total of 8 minutes. it takes a village indeed!
for two glorious weeks i watched in horror as my child became increasingly more alert. she gets EXTREMELY FRUSTRATED extremely quickly because she wants to MOVE. she wants to walk and she is NOT HAPPY sitting still, which means the only way to keep her satisfied is to hold her little hands and hunch over her as she drunk-stumbles around the room. when you decide you need a break because it feels as though someone has slid eleven molten daggers into your spine, she will immediately and painfully let you know that she has not condoned this break. thankfully, for two glorious weeks i had that aforementioned village to help out.
mrs nice guy has returned to work. i am home alone with my nemesis -- She Who Refuses to Sit Still Even Though She Cannot Move Unassisted. crawling does not interest her. she wants you to be her giant walking hunchback escort gimp. i know i may live to regret saying this, but: i cannot wait until she is independently mobile. i am cool with vigilance as long as i don't have to help this tiny lunatic walk any more. i mean, i have lost all feeling in my left leg. lucky for her she's so damn cute.
it's cold and rainy outside, so we are trapped in our tiny apartment. as i type this, the baby naps. but i live in dread should she awake. because the exersaucer has lost its charm ... the bouncy chair is not an option. she will look at me and say "MUSH, DOGMAN!"
she will want to walk around. and around. and around. and i have no one left here to help me.
i am so very afraid.