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Monday, September 05, 2005

the summer wind came blowin' in ...




"His life was not particularly eventful, but he had had a couple of nice escapes from a fate less tame than the draft in a London hospital, which killed him in 1927."
so writes vladimir nabokov about his uncle konstantin, who served in the diplomatic corps. sadly, if my daughter should succumb this week, she won't even have lived long enough to have a couple of nice escapes to her name.

yesterday was so lovely, so temperate, so beautiful that we turned off the AC and flung open the windows. "let the breezes blow through our humble home," we shouted! and we danced in the late summer wind! we laughed and drank mead!

then we went to bed, with all the doors and windows flung open. ah how nice it was to sleep with a carressing draft. oh to be warm and snug in our beds as a gentle draft caresses our cheeks. ah, but! it turns out someone, who i shall not name but whose name is mrs nice guy, put the baby down in her crib last night wearing a sleeveless onesie and then ... DIDN'T PUT ANY COVERS ON HER.

everyone within a five mile radius was woken up at 7 this morning to the shrieking, enraged howls of our daughter ... who probably only slept so late because the drop in temperature had slowed the flow of blood to her tiny brain. the kidsicle was frozen solid, her little icy paws too cold to even touch. the frost that had settled upon her downy head made her hair all crunchy (ok, that detail was exaggeration for effect, but you get what i'm saying here: the baby was COLD and she was PISSED).

so yeah. now i feel like we are just waiting for the child to come down with west nile avian pneumonia, making us hate ourselves for all eternity. already we feel as bad as if we had left her overnight in the subzero meat locker at sam the butcher's. the self-loathing around here is not a pretty thing to behold.

mrs nice guy: i feel like the worst mother ever right now.
mr nice guy, secretly praising jesus that, for once, it was not his fault: oh sweetie, that's because you are.

if no updates are forthcoming, it can only mean that we have hanged ourselves ... and not in the saucy michael hutchence accidental auto-erotic asphyxiation sort of way either.



UPDATE! i stand corrected, by my own mater nice guy no less. "the final word in this tragic story" ... ? we shall see, mater nice guy. we shall see.

10 Comments:

Blogger Moo Moo said...

Wow, I know what you mean... during the day it's hot as hell here and she has to stay in a onesie or a tank and a shirt.. and in the night (since we have no humidity here in CO) it cools rapidly and she has to pretty much sleep in a snowsuit!

9/06/2005 12:22 AM  
Anonymous Niroshan from Sri Lanka said...

You're an entertaining bastard!

9/06/2005 3:50 AM  
Anonymous robin said...

the poor late michael hutchence. i make jokes at his expense all the time!

9/06/2005 12:56 PM  
Anonymous tpon said...

oh come on... you haven't dropped her yet. you ahve a lot of room to work with before you can really claim worst parents rights.

If you are going to hang yourself, wouldn't it be better to go out the MH way? I mean, either way you are going...

9/06/2005 8:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah, we did something similar with our first when she was about that age and our heat went out one night. We of course were snug under our covers. And one small popsicle in the bassinet next to our bed....

It only gets worse once they can remember that you've hurt them.

9/06/2005 9:21 PM  
Blogger BIYF said...

was that hutchence? or kevin gilbert? or both... i won't hold my breath for an answer

9/07/2005 1:33 AM  
Blogger cmhl said...

hahahah!!

babies, being the tyrants that they are, are seemingly incapable of dealing with anything other than the perfect environment. I remember looking at my shrieking firstborn, and just saying "what, what is it that you WANT????"

hahaha. good times..

9/07/2005 9:40 AM  
Anonymous robin said...

darn. that micheal hutchence thing was some funny shit.

9/07/2005 12:43 PM  
Anonymous Jennifer said...

LOL!

Hey....she screamed didnt she? That's her emergency broadcast system alerting you to danger.

They have these wonderful little baggie like thingys that you can buy. We are in Canada, where the days can be warm, nights cold. Also, the Rugrat kicks off the blankets, so we had a stash of these thingys:

http://www.babyinabag.com/

Don't be intimidated by the website name, kinda freaked me out. LOL!


Baby-bag...HA HA HA...makes me titter.

9/07/2005 8:08 PM  
Blogger jolie said...

almost 20 years later I'm still making mom & dad feel bad about forgetting to pick me up from overnight camp.

just wait for that part...

9/07/2005 10:02 PM  

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