roll another one, just like the other one
right. moments before they departed for said beach house, i was talking to the dad. mind you, this was a month ago AND, his daughter is only 12 days older than mine:
mr nice guy: how's the baby?
neighbor dad: oh great. her new thing is rolling over. we put her on the bed and she just flops around.
mr nice guy: really? rolling over? already?
neighbor dad: yeah. she's mastered left-to-right, but not right-to-left. she'll get it soon enough though.
mr nice guy: oh. our baby has mastered drooling.
so by now, a month later, surely the bambino should be rolling over, right? the fear-mongers at "what to expect" seem to think so. the touchpoints people too. ah. but our child apparently has other plans ... plans that largely involve not napping either.
we do fool ourselves, though: we put her on her back, on the rug, and place a toy to her left. then we grab her right hand and gently drag it across the front of her body. "look at the toy! don't you want to roll over to get your toy?" eventually, we have tugged her arm enough and she flops onto her side. "LOOK WHO ROLLED OVER!" we shout in glee, with a vehemence that fails utterly to conceal our shame (even though, let's face it, the longer she remains immobile, the better for everyone) .
we also give her lots of "tummy time," an expression that never ceases to give me the jeebles. she lies there on her stomach, grunts, wiggles and, it would seem, practises her breaststroke. she may not roll over, but i am pretty sure she could swim the damn english channel.
you know what? i think i just figured out her master plan. she is a devious little shit, she is. she thinks she's sooo clever, but i made her, so i know how she thinks: she is waiting for the next time we manually her roll over. as we congratulate ourselves for having such a talented daughter, we will be too distracted to notice that she has generated enough drool to swim away. sweet escape!
where will she go? how far will she swim? that's easy: to the neighbors, two doors down, who are obviously much better parents. and own a beach house.