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Wednesday, August 30, 2006

now 100% childcare free!

greetings from square one, which is where we're back to. we officially have no childcare. none.

the temporary nanny has gone off to her permanent gig. i called our main nanny yesterday and put it this way to her: we really want you to come back to work. i understand you have complications on your wounds, but we kinda need someone to take care of the baby. we're willing to work with you. tell us when you can come back and we'll manage until then. if you can't tell us when you'll be back, we have to hire someone else.

her response? "do what you gotta do."

peachy. abso-fucking-lutely peach-fruity fucking keen! doing what we "gotta do" now entails me being at home today and not working. it also entails mrs nice guy being home for the rest of the week. it entails finding a nanny who is free on tuesday, wednesday and friday (totally conventional schedule, right?) and hiring her so she can start TUESDAY. it entails posting a desperate plea on listservs and hectoring friends. it entails not sleeping. it entails stressing the fuck out. it entails, potentially, murder. i am ready to commit murder. foul heinous disgusting bloodsoaked jeffrey dahmer-style cannibalistic slow-torture disemboweling nannymurder.

ahem. sorry. that last bit was exaggeration. i won't actually eat her. just kill her. ok, maybe i will feed her to the cats.

of course all this is happening on a day where the kid has decided to bail on her morning nap. i have spent the past six hours trying to keep her awake so she could make as smooth a one-nap transition as possible. i am doing this on five hours of sleep myself. i am doing this on fumes. and also it's raining outside. i am going so stir crazy i feel like richard pryor and gene wilder all wrapped into one person, only funny. blissfully, she just went down. i breathed a sigh of sweet release. and then? then the neighbor's new shitty little daschund, who has apparently been left alone at home, is yip-yip-yipping NONSTOP and it sounds like it is trapped in the air vent directly above the baby's crib.

have you ever tried to dig your own eyeballs out with one of those rubber baby spoons?

14 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Take a look at A Choice Nanny, a nanny referral agency in Manhattan. They were pretty good about getting us interviews quickly, but more importantly for you, they offer "Temporary Nannies" who can come for just a day when you really absolutely need something now.

8/30/2006 1:34 PM  
Blogger jibber.jabber said...

nannies have true power don't they? "do what you gotta do"... remember the good ol' days when we could threaten them with immigration? sigh!

(for the morally just, the last comment was just a harmless piece of melodrama)

best of luck on your search,

m.

8/30/2006 2:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Poor you and Baby Nice Guy! It's all a balancing act for us working parents. My kids go to an 'big chain daycare' which has its shortcomings...but at least I know someone will be there to care for them every day.

8/30/2006 4:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi: Have you tried calling the Mormon church in your area? The women tend to be stay at home moms and someone can refer you if only temporarily. You don't have to worry about any cult like stuff thats way overblown. Good luck!!

8/30/2006 4:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've been about to use one of those spoons too! Ours turn different colors when the food is too hot. How cool is that? Okay what were you saying again? Sorry. sleep deprivation.

Try this site:
http://www.greataupair.com/

On a final note...

"do what you gotta do" is the last thing somebody usually says when you get sued.

8/30/2006 5:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Pay for my travel expenses from Chicago and I'll watch her.

I'm not crazy. I'm not Russian. I've never had hemorrhroid problems.

Have your people call my people.

8/30/2006 5:33 PM  
Blogger Kara said...

first: my neighbors have a weiner dog who never, ever, ever shuts up. I hate all weiner dogs.

And now from the "File Under "duh" Files: Nanny Agencies. They're expensive for a reason, but it's like having a rental car. If yours breaks down, even in the middle of nowhere, they're required to pick you up and give you a new one.

Not having childcare is suckage beyond suckage. I feel for you guys.

8/30/2006 5:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is so familiar. I just unexpectedly became employed and The Wife and I are running around in circles trying to patchwork childcare out of thin air and familial obligations to be determined at a later date.

Best of luck.

8/30/2006 6:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That wiener dog sounds alert. Can't it watch the spud?

8/30/2006 6:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

For the record, an Aupair might be ok in the long term assuming you wanted someone to live in and you were prepared to wait six to eight weeks for your Aupair to clear her paperwork and fly from her country. The only way you'd get one sooner would be if you found one who had been fired from her previous position or left it. Your also dealing with someone who is probably living away from home for the first time so you've got a flight risk when she gets homesick. For fucks sake people, would you finally get it through your heads that nannies and aupairs are not the same thing. The term Chef and fry cook aren't used interchangeably. Why? Because they are not the same. If you honestly don't know the difference the definitions are all over the web, you only have to look. http://www.nanny.org/aupair.htm
http://www.noblenanny.com/nanny-tips.html

I second looking into a Choice Nanny. Personally I found that most of their families pay crap which is why as a nanny I never use them, but as a parent that could work well for you. Expect to be dealing with young relatively inexperienced women though you may get lucky and get a grandma type. You only need her three days a week? It might not be a bad idea to look into a nanny share as someone suggested yesterday. Also, have you considered allowing a nanny who has a child to bring them to work? You could end up getting a fantastic nanny who has problems finding employment due to her own childcare needs and a playmate for your child as well. Just a thought.

8/30/2006 6:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

These are the definitions of childcare as defined by the International Nanny Association

http://www.nanny.org/inhome.htm

8/30/2006 7:02 PM  
Blogger Shal said...

I wish I could, my little one could use the company, though my mom is in NJ, just a stone's throw away :)

Good luck I hope you find a great nanny soon!

9/01/2006 1:39 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Childcare in my city is a joke. I have had daycares tell me not to bother with their waiting lists as they never need to go to them. There are waiting lists 3 years long for even medium-grade centres.

Good luck to you. I know the sense of panic you are feeling and it SUCKS. The last thing you want is to have to settle for shitty care out of sheer desparation.

9/01/2006 11:41 AM  
Blogger jess said...

i totally feel you. having to do anything like this with NO WARNING sucks the big one.

try the tot lot that you used to hang out at.

i went from sending the boy to an ultra-traumatizing day care lady to just finding a mom who will come to my house with her kid and feel great about it

9/01/2006 12:09 PM  

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