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Friday, August 18, 2006

the feline menace

so the russian mafia nanny is still in full effect. just one more week to go. by all appearances the baby will survive. OR WILL SHE???

here's an excellent exchange we had this morning:

RMN: "you know, with cats, you must vacuum."
MNG: "oh yeah, we vacuum all the time. once a month, easy."
"no! all the time. i brush your cat yesterday. she has fur so much!"
"yes, well. she's a cat. thanks for brushing her. i guess i am a bad catdad."

"it's very bad for baby. you must vacuum. i vacuum now."

"ok, suit yourself. thanks."
"very bad. i see it around in air. the fur. if baby breathes it, she gets sick."
"she's fine. the cats are fine. let it go. vacuum if you want."
"all the time you must vacuum! so much fur. baby gets sick."
"millions of homes across the world have cats. the baby will be fine."
"no! coughing! ack, ack! she get asthma. she get allergy."
"i think you're reaching."
"she will get cancer!"

8 Comments:

Anonymous monkeyaker said...

Next time RMN comes over, give the baby a bottle of jack daniels and a cigarette (preferably lit, but whatever), put some broken glass on the floor next to the bathroom, and take a dump in the kitchen. Just this one day.

Then put everything back to normal the next day and see if she ever says anything again. Because really, nothing can top all of that.

8/18/2006 3:17 PM  
Blogger Moo Moo said...

even though I am not Russian, it's like she's related to me. My relatives constantly tell me to get rid of my cats and dog and that it will be better for the baby etc... rmn is crazy.

8/18/2006 7:57 PM  
Blogger henna said...

Alors!! BonneHomme...
I will now delurk. I have read (almost) all of your entries from the beginning. The only one's I skimmed were the music posts that I couldn't identify with, simply because I was jealous of your extensive knowledge that no one bothered to impart upon me.

The mafia nanny must simply be tolerated, although I am intrigued by monkeyaker's suggestion.

I just took my one year old son to My childhood nanny's home a few weeks ago for his first birthday. She is my best friend and has been the 'nanny' for my family for 40 years. (that sounds so old school and snotty, it would take forever to explain that it's not like that!) For you, I wish your regular nanny a speedy return and a quick retreat for RMN...

8/18/2006 9:57 PM  
Anonymous MIL nice guy said...

Ok mr. Nice Guy, there is no doubt that the RMN sounds like Baby NG's great grand mother. As baby NG's grand mother I can feel your pain, but that's the way they used to make them. I never thought you and Mrs. Nice Guy would have to suffer thru this, but I tell you, I'm sure as hell enjoying her antics.

8/18/2006 11:05 PM  
Blogger zygote daddy said...

I can't wait for her to ask you to be a reference for her next gig.

8/18/2006 11:30 PM  
Blogger onyx said...

Whaaaaaaaaaaat? Cats give you cancer and no one told me? I better get rid of mine then.

8/19/2006 1:36 AM  
Anonymous samantha Jo Campen said...

I am SO down with monkeyaker's idea.

Please do it.

And take pictures.

8/19/2006 2:05 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

that lady is bat shit.

8/21/2006 3:43 PM  

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