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Monday, August 28, 2006

more nanny diaries!!!

first a quick note to my brooklyn peeps -- come on out to perch on tuesday night at 8:30 in the pm. someone whose blog you're reading might be there in some quasi-prominent capacity or another.

and on to other affairs. the big news? our nanny's hemorrhoids are still ailing her! she can't come back to work! oh no!

tuesday was supposed to be the return to normalcy (such as it is around here) with Main Caribbean Nanny coming back and Russian Mafia Nanny going away forever and never to ever return ever never again never. but things do not always work out so smoothly, do they? well? do they??? no THEY FUCKING DO NOT and stop asking me.

i called Main Nanny on saturday and as nonchalantly as you please i said "so, you are scheduled to come back on tuesday and i HOPE TO MOTHER FUCKING MARY that this is still the case. please please please do not inform me otherwise."
she replied, anguishedly, "i regret to inform you that it is otherwise."
"oh, Main Nanny. we miss you. more importantly, the baby misses you. did you know that your substitute gave our traumatized child THREE BATHS on friday? please come back."
"i cannot come back because there is some terrible complication with my wounds."
"i am sorry. but my wounds ..."
"will you be able to come back in one week? two weeks? TEN weeks?"
"i cannot say."
"is there anything we can do? PLEASE COME BACK. is there anything you need?"
"i need money."

and so there you have it. our main nanny and her wounds need our money. our russian mafia substitute nanny is willing to hang on for a little while longer, but sadly she is completely insane. is this some sort of transcontinental shakedown? are we being had? i hate to fire a nanny with unfortunate complications on her wounds, but i will do it if i have to. but what then?

oh, lord, how come no one ever told me that outsourcing parenting is much harder than the actual parenting itself?


Anonymous Brenda said...

Awwwww I am soo sorry. I doubt that main nanny is jacking you, I can only imagine the nastiness that could happen with that kind of surgery.

Three baths??? What the heck happened?

Seriously mine gets like three baths a month....ummm kidding...

8/28/2006 10:10 PM  
Anonymous Pickle's Papa said...

Russian Nanny Rocks.

8/29/2006 9:14 AM  
Anonymous Bonnie (aka Nanny Abroad) said...

I recommend contacting a good nanny agency and seeing whats available in case you end up having to hire a new nanny, which it's starting to sound like. Beacon Hill in Boston is good and they place all over the country, but considering you need a live out I would try one of the local agencies. You'll pay more than if you found her yourself, but they will screen the canidates so you can hopefully avoid the situation your having with your temp nanny. And for Fucks Sake, the Russian Mafioso is not the pool to be finding your childcare. Another possibility is to start looking around you and seeing if there are any nannies you've observed who are compitent, ask them if they have friends who are looking, but be warned just because one woman makes an excellent nanny, doesn't mean her friends will be. I've had loads of friends over the years who were crap, I've also know quite a few who were just as good as me and I'm the best!

8/29/2006 9:17 AM  
Anonymous Lisa said...

"oh, lord, how come no one ever told me that outsourcing parenting is much harder than the actual parenting itself?"

No doubt. Maybe it's Mrs. NG's turn to stay home?

8/29/2006 1:06 PM  
Blogger The other me said...

Oh no...the nanny with the pain in the arse is being a pain in the arse. Russian nanny really sounds like a nightmare, 3 baths in a day?? I can't think of any reason to bath a baby 3 times in a day and I have 6 kids, 5 are boys...they are crap magnets, my 5 year old sweats treacle, he oozes gunge, his fingernails look like they belong to a mechanic or a gardener with no tools, or both, but he still only gets ONE bath...when I was a nanny, oh so many years ago, my friends who lived out would very often be shared, 2 families that had one child would both employ the same nanny and take turns on whose home she was in during the day. One week in one home, one in the other, with 2 kids. Any chance of you finding a family with a great nanny who wants to look after your baby too?
oh word verification is pfhpygt...I think that's russian for you're fired.

8/29/2006 7:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

isn't that called "daycare?"

8/29/2006 10:59 PM  
Blogger henna said...

our(my childhood)nanny is from the islands, tobago. She "joined" our family over 40 years ago and now takes care of her employer, my father, in very manageable stages of alzheimers. she is my best friend and I would not be here without her. any nanny can be hired, but one who's wounds you are so close to might be one you may want to wait for...daycare is one thing, a nanny can be so much more...

8/29/2006 11:29 PM  
Blogger jibber.jabber said...

i've just crossed her off my list of interview candidates. phew! thank god for blogger and your post.



8/30/2006 10:18 AM  

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