more nanny diaries!!!
first a quick note to my brooklyn peeps -- come on out to perch on tuesday night at 8:30 in the pm. someone whose blog you're reading might be there in some quasi-prominent capacity or another.
and on to other affairs. the big news? our nanny's hemorrhoids are still ailing her! she can't come back to work! oh no!
tuesday was supposed to be the return to normalcy (such as it is around here) with Main Caribbean Nanny coming back and Russian Mafia Nanny going away forever and never to ever return ever never again never. but things do not always work out so smoothly, do they? well? do they??? no THEY FUCKING DO NOT and stop asking me.
i called Main Nanny on saturday and as nonchalantly as you please i said "so, you are scheduled to come back on tuesday and i HOPE TO MOTHER FUCKING MARY that this is still the case. please please please do not inform me otherwise."
she replied, anguishedly, "i regret to inform you that it is otherwise."
"oh, Main Nanny. we miss you. more importantly, the baby misses you. did you know that your substitute gave our traumatized child THREE BATHS on friday? please come back."
"i cannot come back because there is some terrible complication with my wounds."
"i am sorry. but my wounds ..."
"will you be able to come back in one week? two weeks? TEN weeks?"
"i cannot say."
"is there anything we can do? PLEASE COME BACK. is there anything you need?"
"i need money."
and so there you have it. our main nanny and her wounds need our money. our russian mafia substitute nanny is willing to hang on for a little while longer, but sadly she is completely insane. is this some sort of transcontinental shakedown? are we being had? i hate to fire a nanny with unfortunate complications on her wounds, but i will do it if i have to. but what then?
oh, lord, how come no one ever told me that outsourcing parenting is much harder than the actual parenting itself?