why men get a bad rap
but he did have such a purty mouth
after I arose this morning and performed my daily ablutions--shower, facial scrubs, manicure and the application of various scented unguents--it was time to shave. as I liberally applied my trusty dimethicone skin protectant exfoliating shaving gel, I was reminded of Lord Byron's sage words from his don juan epic:
men for their sins
Have shaving too entail'd upon their chins,-
A daily plague, which in the aggregate
May average on the whole with parturition
you follow? byron asserts that the aggregate sensation of a lifetime of face-shaving is as painful to men as childbirth is to women. do you realize what this means? (aside from the fact that apparently the greatest romantic poet was completely insane) the real point here is that, ladies, THE JIG IS UP. you think passing a basketball through a needle's eye is painful?!? try living in our faces for a week! YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE NICKS. and, woe, the rashes! the rashes we endure will shame you all into silence!
what's that? your labor resulted in rectal fistulae? vaginal tearing? bah! i scoff! i'll have you know i went through 37 interminable seconds of bleeding and some very minor annoyance this morning! i hadn't even had my coffee yet!
wimp, thy name is woman!
UPDATE! byron, buddy, it's that time of year again. can you and your tender, tender face handle these dudes?